Monthly Archives: June 2014

Featured GODDESS: The Pleiades

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pleiadesThe Pleiades

 Star Goddesses of the Night Sky

“Look to the heavens and you will see us. We will light your way out of Darkness.”

 

Who are The Pleiades?

Maia – Goddess of nursing mothers

Electra – Goddess of Mount Saon; Patroness of Troy

Taygete – Mistress of the animals; Goddess of the Taygetos Mountains in Greece

Alcyone – Goddess who wards off evil storms

Celaeno – Goddess of the island of Euboia or Mount Kithairon

Sterope – Goddess of Pisa in southern Greece

Merope – Goddess of Chios

 

How to call on the Pleiades:

Known more for the tragedy of their story than for their actual accomplishments, the Pleiades, daughters of Atlas and Pleione, were nymphs in service to Artemis. After their father Atlas was forced to carry the heavens on his shoulders, the God Orion began to pursue the Pleiades. Relentless in his pursuit, the Pleaides begged Zeus for help. He transformed them first into doves, and then into stars. That didn’t stop Orion, however. He got himself turned into a constellation and continues to pursue them across the night sky.

 

Prayer to the Pleiades:

Goddesses of the Night Sky,

Hear My Prayer

Show me what is hidden

Reveal your mysteries to me

Shine your light on my path,

So I may find my way out of the Darkness.

 

Tribute to the Pleiades:

As the Pleiades were turned into both doves and stars, looking into the night sky while reciting the above (or another) prayer will have more meaning. Also be kind to the doves you see as they are Sisters of and favored by the Pleiades.

Beauty Marks and Battle Scars

By | Body Love, Wisdom Blog | 6 Comments

“All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who I am. So many stories of where I've been and how I got to where I am.” – Brandi Carlile

 

battle scarsA few weeks ago I shared with you about my struggle with infertility. Though I have moved past it in many ways, the scars on my belly are a constant reminder of my 8 surgeries – 6 for ‘treatment' of the endometriosis that caused my infertility.

When I look in the mirror at my belly, I see scars marring my otherwise unmarked skin. Flaws on nature's design.

But a simple conversation with my boyfriend led me to a powerful reminder: My scars tell my story but they don't define who I am.

Like the lines upon my face, my scars are more battle scars than defects. They symbolize my strength, my perseverance, and my ultimate triumph over my endometriosis. They represent not a loss of the ability to bear a child, but the gift of getting my menstrual cycles back after entering menopause for 9 years at the age of 26, the gift of my feminine nature, and the incredibly powerful ability of my body to heal itself. So maybe I should consider them beauty marks instead of battle scars.

Most importantly, my scars remind me to take care of myself, something I have been neglecting lately.

And this realization led me back to one of my ‘bibles’ of women’s wisdom: Sara Avant Stover ‘s The Way of the Happy Woman. In it, she encourages all women to make an Absolute Yes list and an Absolute No list. On your Absolute Yes list you should put everything that makes you a stronger, better person. Things you truly don’t want to live without. The Absolute No list contains things that weaken, irritate, and lead you away from who you know you really are.

 

For example, my Absolute Yes list is:

  • Sleep at least 8 hours a night
  • Eat nourishing, home-cooked food every day
  • Daily yoga practice
  • Daily meditation – morning and night
  • Go outside every day
  • Exercise (or do some sort of movement) every day
  • Read for pleasure every day
  • Get a massage at least twice a month
  • Unplug at 6pm every night
  • Take at least one whole day off each week to play and have fun
  • Daily gratitude practice

 

My Absolute No list says:

  • No checking email until after 8am
  • Minimize eating out as I can make more nourishing foods at home
  • No squelching my feelings
  • No putting other things in front of my me time
  • No checking email more than a few times a day or zoning out on my iPad or internet for more than 30 min at a time
  • No eating when I’m anxious or upset

 

I made this list almost two years ago. My life was very different back then, yet my Absolute Yeses and Nos really haven’t changed that much. I still struggle with items on both lists, but I think having them visible helps keep them in the forefront. Time to print them out and hang them up! Or better yet, let my scars serve as a reminder that I am worth honoring my Absolute Yes and Absolute No lists. That when I don’t, I only end up creating more ‘scars.’ And while I strive to wear my scars proudly, I’d prefer not to have experienced the pain that caused my scars in the first place. You see, my scars are but leftover reminders of past Cosmic 2x4s the Universe felt I needed to receive to learn whatever lesson that ignoring my Absolute Yeses and Nos caused. Valuable lessons learned.

 

What stories do your scars tell? And how are they connected to ignoring your Absolute Yes and Absolute No lists?

 

 

 

Everyday GODDESS: Kellie Stone

By | Everyday Goddesses | One Comment

kellie stoneIn her quest to be a sacred guide for women on their journey of self-discovery, Kellie R. Stone is an avid student of life. She is a spiritual life coach and intuitive reader who received her certification through renowned spiritual life and business coach, Karen Coffey. As a writer, you’ll discover many of her published articles on Womenslifelink.com, Livestrong.com, Allthingschic.com, Timefindersmagazine.com, Coffeytalk.com, Goddesslifestyleplan.com, and many other blogs and e-zines.

What does being an Everyday Goddess mean to you?

I feel that being an everyday Goddess is a state of mind and spirit that brings the importance of the feminine to the forefront with confidence, love, nurturing, and empowerment. This understanding of self brings a powerful energy to the planet as we are in a shifting culture and consciousness.

At what age did you awaken to the presence of the Divine Feminine and would you describe it as a sudden awakening or a gentle unfolding?

I feel that I became aware of my feminine power recently in my forties. Though I’ve always felt a distinct pull from spirit and universal energy, I was on a path that did not allow for exploration of my truth and authenticity. The freedom I feel now has served me in so many ways, including self-confidence, purpose, authenticity, and connections to others.

What roles in your life had to transform in order for you to live authentically?

I had to stop continually living for and making decisions based on what others thought of me. Though I still have tendencies to analyze my actions and thoughts, my life has changed from the inside out. I now value myself and self-care enough that it takes priority. I feel that I have much more work to do in this area, however.

What have been some of the greatest inner gifts you’ve experienced since stepping into your feminine power?

I have experienced a huge shift in my attitude about myself. I believe that I am worthy of love and happiness. I also know that I have the power to change my life and to affect the world. I realize that there are no limitations to my growth and change.

Can you share some of your favorite sacred feminine rituals?

I have really been enjoying dancing and movement lately. It is helping me to connect to my sensual side and to my body in a way that brings about confidence and self-love. I also love to connect to nature, animals, and spirit. This allows me to be present and bring myself to a more centered state.

 

Is there a particular Goddess that you are intimately drawn to and why?

Though I am just now getting familiar with Goddesses, I do feel most drawn to the Indian Goddesses, Saraswati and Durga. Saraswati is one who shows me that I have a voice and how important it is that I use it to create love, peace, and growth in the world. Durga shows me that I am powerful and have the ability to fight for our world and myself.

 

Is there a personal message that you would like to share with women?  

My message to women is one of empowerment and clarity. I want them to know that they can be everything they’ve dreamed of being, that they can fulfill their dreams, define purpose and live happily. I believe that creating an improved mindset is the first key to transformation for every area of life. We are the only ones who will ultimately change our lives.

Learn More at:

Http://www.womenslifelink.com                                                                          

 

 

Our Everyday Goddess invites you to download her free gift:

7 Steps to Living on Purpose

 

Visit to Claim Your Gift:

Http://www.womenslifelink.com

 

 

Connect with Our Everyday Goddess:

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Settings boundaries: What Do YOU Want?

By | Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | One Comment

fence 2I recently acquired a housemate, a friend of mine who just moved back to my home town. It's a temporary situation that is making me come to some powerful realizations. It's not quite a cosmic 2×4, but it's definitely a gentle nudge…

My therapist and I were discussing this today after I confessed that my housemate had me breaking into tears twice in the last week. It wasn't him. It was that what he said or did pushed my buttons, activating issues I had thought I had resolved. Apparently not.

And it all came down to this: I hadn't set clear enough boundaries – for myself, for him, for our ‘roomie relationship' – prior to him moving in. I had set physical parameters – you stay out of my room, I'll stay out of yours – but I hadn't set emotional boundaries. And those, as it turns out, are often the most important.

I didn't truly realize this until my therapist posed the following questions to me this morning: What do you want? What do you want this situation/relationship to look like? To feel like? To be like?

Hmmm… all good questions that I hadn't fully processed before he moved in.

What do I want? Not just in this particular relationship but in my life?

Very few people have ever asked me that question. As a recovering people pleaser, I was raised to think that my opinion didn't really matter anyway. After all, if your job is to make everyone else happy, then who cares what YOU think about the situation?

But isn't that all that really matters? I was upset with my housemate last week not because  of what he said, but because of how I perceived it. How I chose to react in that situation. And that's all on me.

As I was about to leave to visit a friend on Saturday, my housemate commented on a very fit woman's photo on the internet. Being a self-conscious woman, I got mad at him. Not for thinking she was attractive, but for my own belief that he was comparing me to her and I didn't stack up. Of course, he never said that. But that's where my mind went and I found myself bawling. Because I thought I wasn't enough, that I didn't measure up, that somehow I was inadequate. Of course, I now realize how ridiculous my reaction was. But that's the point – it was MY reaction. It had nothing to do with the woman he was admiring or what he said. It all had to do with my reaction to what happened. It had to do with the fact that I neglected to set emotional boundaries with him when he moved in. As my therapist said, ‘you care too much about what he thinks.' Yes, I do. I fully own up to that.

So what am I going to do about it? How will I set emotional boundaries within this relationship now?

  1. I have to figure out what I want (and what I don't) – what do I want this situation, albeit temporary, to look like? How can I best make that happen with my words and actions?
  2. How does my need for physical boundaries work with my need for emotional boundaries? What might each of those look like?
  3. What can I learn about myself based on the disagreements we've experienced so far? Am I reacting to what was said, to how I felt, to my own insecurities?
  4. How might I act differently in similar situations in the future to avoid misunderstandings and upsets? Because it really is all about my reaction to what transpires rather than what actually happened.
  5. How can I use what I've learned to create a different reality? If something is bothering me, what can I do to change it or change my reaction to it?
  6. What do I really want? And yes, I think this question bears repeating. 1) I think the first time we think about what we want, we often don't go deep enough. 2) what we want can change. In ways that may sometimes surprise us.

 

So what have I concluded about all of this?

  1.  I actually like living alone. – Yes, I am lonely; incredibly so sometimes. I thought that getting a housemate would solve that problem. But what I've come to realize is that being alone doesn't mean you're lonely and living with someone doesn't guarantee you won't be lonely. The two actually have little to do with one another.
  2. You have to set boundaries in relationships, physical and emotional – take it from a recovering people pleaser, if you let the other person set all the boundaries, you'll never get what you want out of the relationship
  3. Figure out what YOU want – yes you. Not your partner, boss, neighbor, kid, YOU.

 

I challenge you to set some emotional boundaries this week. Let me know how it goes.

 

Featured Goddess: FELICITY

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felicityFelicity

Goddess of Good Fortune and Lucky Happenstance

“Never underestimate the power to draw what you need to your door.”

 

Traits Felicity Embodies:

  • Luck
  • Good fortune
  • Happiness
  • Abundance
  • Play

 

How to call on Felicity:

Although Felicity's parentage is controversial – some say she was a daughter of the Titans Oceanus and Tethys, some say she was the daughter of Zeus – king of the Gods, historians agree that her temples date back to the 2nd century BC. Romans were so convinced that Felicity was lucky that she was frequently featured on coins from the Roman Empire. While Roman warriors offered her sacrifices worth 1000s of denarii (the currency at the time), you only need to call on Her whenever you feel you need a little luck.

 

Prayer to Felicity:

Felicity, Goddess of Good Fortune,

Hear My Prayer

The winds are changing

And I ask you bring me luck and [insert request]

Goddess of Plenty

Goddess of Luck

Help me realize my dreams.

Thank you, Felicity.

 

Tribute to Felicity:

Are you near a wishing well? Toss a coin in at night under a New Moon to make your wish and then again under a Full Moon once your wish comes true.

 

Are You Getting Your Needs Met?

By | Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

Couple holding hands.

 

Had you asked me when I was married if I was getting my needs met, I would have told you decidedly no. But had you asked me what needs weren’t being met, I would have had trouble voicing that. I knew my needs weren’t being met, but I couldn’t necessarily tell you what my needs were either. Then I met Stacey Martino.

Trained and certified by Tony Robbins, Stacey and Paul Martino have dedicated their lives to empowering people to transform their intimate relationships – and single people like me transform themselves to attract and keep their forever love relationship.

I can’t pretend that had I met Stacey before my divorce, my marriage wouldn’t have ended because I think we were too far gone for saving by that point. But I can say that looking back, I understand so much more about what went wrong and why. And it really all boils down to this: I wasn’t meeting his needs and he wasn’t meeting mine. The difference is now I know what my needs actually were and why he couldn’t meet them.

Stacey taught me that according to Human Needs Psychology, there are 6 fundamental human needs that must be met by your partner for your relationship to truly soar. While I was getting all of my needs met – we have to; we gravitate to whatever will meet these needs because they are so important – it wasn’t by my ex-husband. It was through work – his chief topic of complaint about our relationship. He wasn’t my number 1; work was – and for good reason – work was meeting my needs, he wasn’t. By the same token, I wasn’t his number 1 either – his mother and grandmother were. Again, they were meeting his needs, I wasn’t.

So what are these needs and how did not getting them met lead to the downfall of my 21-year relationship with my ex?

Certainty – Are you certain about your partner or do you fear he or she will leave you? – Of all of the fundamental human needs, this is one my ex was actually meeting – although maybe not for the right reasons. I knew – in fact, he told me on many occasions – that he would never leave me. He was miserable – we both were – but he couldn’t bring himself to leave me. I was the sole breadwinner and we’d been together 21 years when it was all said and done. Between our history together (I’d spent more of my life with him than without as I was 39 when we divorced) and his uncertainty about being able to support himself, I was certain he would never leave me. He was less certain about me. He knew I loved him – still do, probably always will – but neither of us were ‘in love’ with each other and hadn’t been in a long time.

Variety – Are you stuck in a rut? I’m a romantic at heart; my ex wasn’t. While we both were bored in our relationship, attempts to ‘spice things up’ usually didn’t work as we didn’t like doing the same things. So there again – we were both getting our need for variety met, just not by each other. As a teacher, no day is ever quite the same – so once again, work met my need for variety. He liked to go out and do things. I did too, but not all the time. After a long day at work, I usually wanted to put on my cozy clothes and relax, whereas he wanted to go out and paint the town. Then again, he didn’t have to get up early the next morning and I did. So variety – yes; just not with each other.

Significance – Do you feel important and special in your romantic relationship? I knew my ex loved me, but this isn’t what significance is about. Did I feel important to him? No. Did he make me feel special? No. And I didn’t make him feel that way either. By the end of our marriage he was an annoyance to me, and I a bitter reminder of what could have been to him. Were we getting this need met? Of course – but there again, I got it at work and from my friends; he got it from his mother and grandmother. Consequently, he put them first just as I put work and my friends first. Lesson learned: We prioritize those who meet our needs…

Connection/Love – Do you feel a deep soul connection with your partner? I didn’t; never really did. Didn’t even know it was possible. I thought that kind of love was fiction – it made for a great romance novel, but didn’t happen in real life. And then I started meeting couples who seemed to embody this and it made me sad because I knew in my heart it wasn’t possible for me to achieve that kind of love with my ex. There was one particular couple we met while on our last vacation together that really hit it home for me. They were so connected, so in love; we weren’t and hadn’t been for a long time. That’s when I finally admitted to myself that we weren’t going to make it.

Growth – Are you and your partner growing individually and together? This one need was perhaps the one that bothered me most. I am highly vested in personal growth. It is important to me that I continue to evolve and grow as a person. My ex didn’t get that. Why would I want to change? If it’s not broken, it doesn’t need fixed… And yes, for a while I did think I was broken and was looking for a fix through personal growth and development. But ultimately it became more about the fact that I highly valued my own personal growth and he didn’t – for himself or for me. That ended up being a deal breaker for us.

Contribution – Are you making a difference in the world? I decided to be a teacher because I wanted to change lives. My ex had no aspirations, no goals in life, no need to make a contribution. He felt he had nothing to offer. For a while I tried to change him; help him identify ways he could make a contribution. But ultimately you can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do.

 

Bottom line: Last week I talked to you about making a commitment to myself. One of the ways I am embodying this is by making sure I know how to be a really good partner – to myself and to a potential SoulMate – before I step into another relationship. So I enrolled in Stacey & Paul’s 8 week Relationship Quick Start program (I just finished week 4-so halfway through and learning so much!) And I’m going to their Relationship Breakthrough Retreat in July! 

Until next time, make sure you’re getting your needs met in whatever way is healthiest for you. And if you are in a current romantic relationship, you might assess these needs from your partner’s perspective too. You might be surprised at what you find.