Category Archives: Walk the Path

As The Wheel Turns

By | Goddess Wisdom, Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | 2 Comments

If you live in a place where you experience all four seasons, you’ve likely been feeling a change in the air. In the Northern hemisphere, right now you are probably looking out on some version of Winter Wonderland. Maybe it’s snow, maybe it’s ice, or maybe it’s your neighbor’s Christmas lights. One thing is for sure, Winter is here. December 21st marks the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, in the Northern hemisphere (and the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year in the Southern hemisphere).

I always loved watching the seasons change: the first buds of Spring, the full blown heat of Summer, the falling leaves in Autumn, and the cool, crisp air that brings snow in Winter. In the past several years, I’ve become more interested in not just the external changes brought by the seasons, but the internal changes as well. I find that in Winter, I want to hibernate and be by myself. In Spring, I’m ready to start poking my head out, start new projects and be more social. In Summer, I love being outdoors as much as possible and interacting with others. In the Fall, I find myself increasingly reflective as I contemplate what I want to finish out and what I want to put on the back burner. I find myself wanting to slow down just a little bit more.

The more I started to notice these seasonal patterns, the more I realized that it was more than the four seasons for me. I was affected by the full wheel of the year – the season shifts and the mid-way points between seasons (also called cross quarters). I deeply felt the phase and sign of the moon each month. My moods and productivity were also influenced by where I was in my menstrual cycle. More importantly, the amount of self-care I need is influenced by all three of these.  And then I realized that these are all cycles (seasons, moon phases, menstrual cycle) – cycles within cycles, so to speak. We all experience them a little differently and that’s the beauty of being human.

I was talking to a friend about this a few months ago. She remarked that she feels like she should live in the Southern hemisphere because, for her, our Fall and Winter in the Northern hemisphere are her “get up and go” seasons, and thus “feel” more Spring- and Summer-like to her because of her increased energy levels. I, on the other hand, tend to follow Mother Nature’s guidance in that my “get up and go” times are definitely Spring and Summer.

If you’ve never paid attention to how your energy levels fluctuate by these cycles, it might be an interesting self-study. If you want to learn more about how seasonal shifts influence you, I invite you to join us for Woman Unleashed online retreat. I will be talking about (and drawing) the wheel of the year and discussing how you can determine where you are on that wheel and how your self-care needs may differ. I hope you will join us!



Beginning the Descent into Darkness

By | Goddess Wisdom, Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | 3 Comments

Last week was Halloween, the halfway point between Fall and Winter in the Northern Hemisphere (Spring and Summer in the Southern Hemisphere). Many of my clients, regardless of their location in the World (Northern or Southern hemisphere), have reported feeling a little “off” lately – like something is just not quite right. A lot of my clients, me included, are revisiting old issues they thought they had healed. Things like not enoughness; people pleasing; feeling flawed, broken, or not worthy; and even downright self-loathing are coming back with a vengeance.

Breathe. You are not alone.

You are not flawed. You are not broken. You are 100% worthy of your own love and everything your heart desires. These shadowy feelings emerging right now? I think they have everything to do with the seasonal transition we just went through and the fact that we only have 2 months left in 2017.

This is an interesting time of year, if you think about it. You might be looking back on the goals or intentions you set in January and realizing that you are “running out time.” You might be looking at the two months you have left in 2017 and thinking, “there’s not enough time.” On top of that anxiety-provoking undercurrent, we are facing the holiday season in a few short weeks, and that alone can be very stressful.

With the Winter Solstice less than two months away in the Northern hemisphere, the days are getting shorter. The increasing darkness outside seems to feel mirrored at some level on the inside. But this is not a time to be feared. This is a time to look at what Universe is mirroring for you. What’s coming up for you right now? Fear? Depression? Anxiety? About what? These are all little clues, if you will, to the “big picture” issues you need to face. Who am I? What do I really and truly want? What is my Purpose in Life? Is this a scary time? It can be. But, if you don’t ask the questions, you will never discover the answers.

I had a dream last week. In the dream, I was trying on all different kinds of clothes trying to get ready to go somewhere. But nothing fit and nothing worked and nothing seemed like the right choice. When I woke at 4:00 AM after having had that dream, I asked myself, “Okay, if nothing fits anymore, then what’s the next step?” It became obvious that there was no next step. It was about me figuring out what I really valued and wanted in life and then from there, I can answer those “big picture” questions. It’s about taking a journey back to me.

If you are feeling the same call – to journey back to yourself, I want you to know three things:

  • You are not alone. (You might have sensed a recurring theme with that one!) 🙂
  • Take all the time you need and give yourself more breathing room than you think you need. This is a journey. It takes as long as it takes.
  • On the surface, it may look like nothing has changed, and that’s okay. – In that dream I had, while I was panicked and repeatedly changing clothes looking for the “right fit,” life was going on around me. I think the message is this: Maybe you don’t have to make a choice right now. Maybe you can just put a few things on standby mode while you figure out what you want. You don’t have to figure it all out right this instant. You know, take the pressure off a little. Give yourself permission to take all the time you need.

“You have permission to be gentle with yourself. You have permission to allow yourself Grace. It (whatever “it” is) may not be available to you today. That’s okay. You’re (still) okay. This is simply one moment in time. This moment does not define you. Allow grace.” – Casey Daly

How can you give yourself more permission to just be with what is right now? How can you allow yourself more grace?





Reflections on Halloween (Reflection Questions Inside!)

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Halloween was always my favorite childhood holiday. After all, you got to dress up and eat all the chocolate you wanted! But, as I got older and entered the work force, I often found myself treating Halloween as just another day – no costumes, no candy, nothing special. Or maybe, depending on where I lived and how many children lived close by, after work I would hand out candy to the children who knocked on my door dressed up like their favorite Superhero.

All of that changed for me when my father died a few days shy of Halloween eight years ago. My favorite holiday turned into too-close-to-the-anniversary-of-his-death to celebrate anything. It was too painful to even think about getting dressed up or handing out candy.

And yet, my father’s death offered me an opportunity to rethink my favorite childhood celebration. I became motivated to look into the history of Halloween and why we even celebrate it to begin with. What I found fascinated me. Before Halloween was Halloween, the Celtic peoples celebrated New Year on November 1st each year. This marked the end of Summer and the final harvest. The Celts believed that on the night before the New Year, the veils between the world of the dead and the living thinned. October 31st was called Samhain and people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. Pope Gregory III, in the 8th century, decided to make November 1st a day to honor all saints (All Saints Day, in some cultures this was called Day of the Dead and honored all ancestors who had passed over); the evening before was known as All Hallows Eve. This evolved into what we now know as Halloween, a combination of both ancient and modern traditions (

Regardless of whether you celebrate Halloween or All Saints Day, if you live in the Northern Hemisphere, you’ve likely noticed that the days are getting shorter. In addition to being a day to dress up and eat candy, Halloween marks an important turning of the wheel of the year. It is the halfway point between Fall and Winter in the Northern hemisphere and Spring and Summer in the Southern hemisphere. In addition, we’ve only got two months left in the year. Thus, this makes it a perfect time to reflect on where you’ve been, where you are going, and what you want to accomplish in the remainder of the year.

“We remain in the period of the year symbolized by the descent of the Goddess into the underworld. The light continues to decline… And darkness seems to come all too quickly each evening. Our foremothers would have completed most of the year’s outdoor tasks by this time. Today our tasks are rarely determined by the seasons or the weather. Rain or snow, winter or summer, we report to work, move papers, have meetings, sell products. We live differently than people did for most of human history. But our bodies have not altered. We still respond to the diminishing daylight by drawing inward, by changing our sleep patterns, by finding different things taking priority in our lives. It’s futile to fight against this annual cycle. Embracing it, living our lives by it, will ultimately make us happier.” – Patricia Monoghan

Today, if you are so inclined, I offer you a few Samhain-inspired questions for reflection as you move into the final two months of the year. I hope they serve you:

  1. What’s going on for you right now? How are you being asked to face your shadows or shadow side? What keeps coming up for you?
  2. What is your Intuition /Inner Goddess wanting you to know right now?
  3. What do you most need right now at a Soul level? How can you make sure you get this need met?

If you are struggling right now or things feel overwhelming/dark/not what you wish they were, know that you are not alone…                                                                                                                        

  1. What feels like an old story that might be coming forward again for you? How can you re-write this old story? What needs to change and how can you enact this change?
  2. How can you take more responsibility for your life and what is happening? How can you take back your power if you’ve been giving it away?
  3. What inner work are you being called to do right now? How can you embrace that journey without blaming/judging/criticizing yourself for not being “there” yet?

Wishing you a blessed Halloween/Samhain!

I’m Asking You to Show Up for Yourself

By | Body Love, Goddess Wisdom, Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

Dear beautiful, fabulous, wonderfully–talented goddess,

I have a question for you:

I know that you're busy. I know that life sometimes feels a bit overwhelming. I know that you have so many roles, responsibilities, and obligations. I know that sometimes you just wish you could run away from your life. I know that sometimes you doubt whether you're good enough to handle it all or good (insert appropriate inner mean girl rant) enough period.

I know the days/weeks/sometimes months go by before you even start to consider your own needs. I know that sometimes you skip meals and forget to eat because you're just that busy, or maybe sometimes at the end of a really long day, you dive headfirst into the Ben & Jerry's ice cream just because it seems like a good idea and it seems like a comfort. I know that sometimes you wish you could just have more control over your life, or just fewer things on your to do list. 

I know that sometimes you just wish you didn’t have to be the one who has to take care of everything and everyone. I know that you dream of vacationing to exotic destinations and, maybe sometimes, dream of what it might be like to just run away and stay there and have someone take care of your every need for a change.

Here's what I want you to know: you are beautiful and wonderful and absolutely perfectly imperfect just the way you are. I wish that you could see yourself as I see you, rather than judging the woman in the mirror yet again. But I know that you don't always see things that way. Sometimes you see yourself as flawed, broken, or needing fixing. Sometimes you just wish it was your turn to catch a break, a good night’s sleep, or whatever it is that your heart desires. And I know that sometimes you feel like that's never going to happen.

I'm here today because I have a favor to ask of you. It's a favor for me and, really, for you. Here's what I know: you are absolutely worthy of your own time, your own care, your own nurturing, and that your dreams do matter. So for today, and preferably all of your days, 

I'm asking you to take care of yourself and fill your own cup before you fill everybody else's. I'm asking for you to just once put yourself first. Because here's the deal: if you don't take care of yourself and put you first, you won't be able to show up for all those that you serve. Your kids need you, your parents need you, your siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, family, friends, clients, and colleagues need you. We all need you. But we need you to be you – not the drained, depleted, overspent version of you. We need you to be the best version of you. No  – I'm not judging you for not showing up for yourself. I'm writing this to myself as much as anyone else.

But I want to you consider this question: What would life be like if you started living that way – serving from your overflow and not from your reserves? How would you be better able to show up for yourself and for others?

Here's the deal: you have permission to be who you are. And here’s my wish for you: one of these days, maybe not today, I hope that you're in a place where you are finally ready. You're ready to claim you – all parts of you – no matter what you actually think about those parts – good, bad, indifferent. Because when you can do this, when you can learn to claim, accept, love you for who you are just as you are right now in this moment, then you have conquered the last frontier. Nothing can hold you back. Because you see, once you realize you're the one that's been holding you back all this time, you're free.

So I'm asking you to show up for yourself. Five, 10, 15 minutes a day. (Check out today’s video for some ideas on how to do this.) Try it and you’ll realize the feeling of showing up for you is addicting. And may I repeat: you’re worth it.

If you are ready to show up for you, I invite you to join us for The Well-Nourished Goddess: The Art of Sacred Self-Care. 21 experts all talking about how they show up for themselves on a daily basis despite their responsibilities. We would love to see you there. You can join us here:

Practicing the Power of the Pause

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“In the silence within, you will find relief, truth, and the instructions you’ve been seeking. Go there. And listen.” ~ Brendon Burchard

Ever sense I can remember, I've had a love- hate relationship with Summer. On the one hand, it is my favorite season because it's the only time of year that I can take a couple of months off from school. I use this time to recharge, get creative about what I want to do next, and focus on projects – like my business – that I may have neglected a little bit during the school year. On the other hand, I dread the summer. It's too hot to go outside and do all of the things I was looking forward to doing because of the heat.

But more importantly, I've recently realized that with summer comes a little bit of a feeling of depression and being lost. I frequently get the blues in the winter time – seasonal affective disorder gets me almost every year. But this is different. This has nothing to do with lack of sunshine and everything to do with my abundance of free time.

I found myself feeling this combination of mild depression and “lostness” both last summer and this summer and it struck me by surprise. Last summer, I chalked it up to having thrown my back out and missing a planned trip to Yellowstone Park. This summer, I thought it was just grief at first – I lost my beloved 10-year-old German Shepherd Kolby at the beginning of the summer – combined with having a bad reaction to the vaccines I took before leaving the country.

The feeling when away when I was in Ecuador and Peru, but seemed to return the minute the plane landed back home. That's when I realized – this isn't just grief. This has nothing to do with being injured or sick from vaccines. This is something else entirely; and it took me about a week to figure out what it was.

It's discomfort with the pause; it's discomfort with the idea that I'm not working full-time. During the school year, I'm so busy that sometimes I forget to eat. That's why I look forward to summer so much. I get my “me” time back. And yet, at some level, it's as though I don't know what to do with myself. Without the structure of classes and meetings and deadlines, I forget what it's like to be me. To just be.

I started to explore this idea further. When I look back over my many summers off – after all, between being a student and being a professor, I have been doing this summer thing for over 40 years now – I realized something. I never really have gotten the knack of taking the summer “off.” I always manage to fill my time with something. Last summer I taught an extra class, then did a series of paintings, and presented my work at a research conference. This summer I also taught an extra class in May, and since then, I have been working on a telesummit I will be launching in September (which I am so excited about!!!!). Every single summer – at least since I've been an adult – I've always managed to fill my time off with just another form of do-ing.

I found this realization very interesting. Why, when I supposedly look forward to summers, do I fill my time with other things? That's where the discomfort comes in. It's a discomfort with just be-ing; it's a discomfort with the pause. When I dove deeper, I realized that this discomfort comes from an old pattern that used to define my self-worth: you must be productive to be a value. Like many of us, I learned growing up that my value came from do-ing for others. The older I've gotten, the more I've come to understand that I must take care of me or I can't be of service to others. And the more I've taken care of me, the more I've been able to shift out of this old doing=worthiness mindset. Yet, at a subconscious level, it's still there. If you're taking time to pause (if it’s not a productive pause – more on that in today’s video), then you're not do-ing. And if you're not do-ing, then you're not of value. That's the discomfort. That's the old mindset that I thought I had gotten rid of. Turns out that mindsets can be sneaky though…

So I'm developing an experiment for myself – a non-doing experience, a chance to practice, and maybe even, enjoy the Pause. If this is something that interests you, I'm planning to do this experiment for the next 30 days and see what happens. I talk more about this experiment in today's video, although with other types of pauses that I am more comfortable with and integrate into my self-care on a regular basis.

I hope you'll join me.

Stop and Smell the Flowers: Lessons Learned in Ecuador and Peru

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I just spent a wonderful 11 days visiting Ecuador and Peru. Like many of life's lessons, I feel that although my journey is over, in some ways, it has only begun. The constant rushing around of the on-the-go trip left me little time to process all I was learning about myself and about the two countries I visited. Yet, I feel that these lessons will reveal themselves over time. 

When I reflect on my trip, what immediately comes to mind is this:

1) We take so much for granted – our tour guide reminded us when we first arrived that these 2 countries were not “first world” countries and that things might be different from home. From differing levels of poverty to different cuisine options to the lack of simple things like toilet paper (or even running water sometimes), I was reminded of everything I have to be grateful for. While I've had a daily gratitude practice for over a decade, I feel it may be time to deepen this.

2) We are all different, yet we all want the same things – there was one woman in our tour group who consistently challenged “social norms,” especially when it came to men (kissing them on the lips, swatting them on the butt, giving out neck massages and back – all unwanted and unsolicited by these men). It made for a few awkward encounters, to say the least, with both the male recipients and their wives. Yet, we all realized that this woman had good intentions. These affectionate behaviors were her way of finding comradery and friendship within our group and with those she met along the way. And who doesn't want to feel loved and accepted? 

3) Take time to stop and smell the roses (or whatever flower it may be) and taste the chocolate (literally, as roses and chocolate are two of the major crops exported by Ecuador!) – time seemed to move more slowly in Peru and Ecuador. While the bigger cities like Quito and Lima were similar to the United States in terms of traffic and people rushing around, in the outlying areas and smaller towns like Cusco and Aguas Calientes, life seemed to move at a much slower and calmer pace. I saw families making time to play together in the park on a Sunday afternoon, friends sitting around drinking chicha (corn beer) and sharing their lives with each other, and children laughing and playing with llamas and alpacas while their parents worked the fields or sold goods in small local shops. I remembered that life can move at a slower pace. While it sometimes seems that we have no choice but to give into the busyness of life, we can actually choose to slow down, choose to put unimportant things off until tomorrow, choose not to respond to that email or return that phone call or text right this instant, or choose to take things off our plates (for now or for good).

4) All we have is this moment – usually when I travel, I find myself thinking of what I need to do when I get back home. Yet, there was something about these magical places that encouraged me to simply be, take it all in, and enjoy each moment, each experience, as I lived it. This is a lesson that I am struggling with now that I am back in the States. But, when I find myself thinking about my to-do list, all I have to do is close my eyes and be present in this moment and I find myself more calm instantaneously.

5) Keep moving forward – I had a dream a few nights after we returned. In it, I saw myself at a crossroads. One sign pointed to Peru, back from where I came. The other pointed in the opposite direction and said, “Next.” In my dream, I found myself torn. Do I want to go back to Peru and spend more time exploring the Incan ruins? Absolutely. Do I want to go back to Ecuador and spend more time in the Amazon? Yes. However, I know that I must keep taking one step forward to achieve my dreams and that going back would put those dreams to a halt. So, I consciously chose the path of the “Next” arrow. Do I know what’s next? Not always, but I choose to trust and keep moving forward. In today’s video, I talk more about moving forward in times of uncertainty and how to maintain a balance of forward movement and reflection/presence.



I Give You Permission to Just Be…

By | Goddess Wisdom, Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | 2 Comments

Summer is here and I am in mini retreat mode. Yet, I’m finding it challenging to settle in to the pause. Rushing to get things “done” so I can go on vacation, my mini retreat has felt more like my regular work weeks than I’d like.

I was talking with my Sisters in the Sacred Circle about how we were going to handle my limited internet access during my vacation time (we typically converse daily in our Facebook group). I was concerned that I would be letting them down if I went for a few days without connecting with them. But one by one they started to chime in that I needed a break and it was okay to actually take a vacation, even from the Sacred Circle. They assured me that they would be fine during my absence.

Suddenly I felt like I could breathe again. I hadn’t realized how much pressure I had been putting on myself to preemptively handle everything that might crop up in the two weeks I’ll be gone. But of course, you can’t predict the future, so it’s nearly impossible to account for “everything” that could happen.

The more I’ve been thinking about my struggle to cut down on “work” mode and move into mini retreat mode, the more I’ve realized that this too is a life lesson. I think one of my Sisters said it best when she said, “Maybe you are supposed to learn the lesson of disconnecting from “work” and focus on fun and adventure!!” She knows me well!

I’ve found this concept of giving ourselves permission coming up a lot lately – with my private clients, in my group coaching programs, with friends, and, yes, for me personally. This reminds me of an experience I had with a client a few years ago. I had asked her what she did for fun and she said, “You don’t understand, when I let myself sit down on the couch for even 5 minutes, the voice inside my head [the inner critic] tells me I’m being lazy and I should get up and do something.” How many of us can relate to that? We wear our busyness as a badge of honor. We pride ourselves in never taking sick days or vacations. But is that really the way you want to live your life?

When my partner and I first met, he told me that he had over 6 weeks of vacation saved up. At two weeks of vacation a year, that meant he hadn’t allowed himself to take a day off in over three years. He was also working two jobs at the time, so he worked most evenings and weekends as well. I would’ve been more stunned if I hadn’t had been guilty of the same thing…  As we talked about this, we realized that work was an escape for both of us, but now that we were happy and had someone in our lives we actually wanted to travel with, we should do something about it. We decided to hold each other accountable for taking time off and exploring the world and having a little fun. So we made a pact to take at least 2 week-long vacations per year. We made a bucket list of places we want to go and are continually adding (and now crossing off!) places we want to go. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to our vacations!

Yet, you don’t have to take weeks off or go to exotic locales to give yourself permission to just … be. In the busyness of our everyday lives, sometimes the idea of a vacation seems like a far off pipe dream. And yet, it doesn’t have to be. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to take 5 minutes to yourself every day to simply unplug and be? How would that change your life? If 5 minutes seems too easy, then go for 10 or 20 or even 30 minutes! You don’t have to sit in meditation or have a plan for your 5 minutes. In fact, I think it would be better if you didn’t. Rather, just allow yourself to simply be. Like an empty bowl, simply be there – open and ready to receive.

I’d love to hear what you find in your daily practice. Give it time and I bet the insights that simply be-ing give you will be profound.

A Lesson in Presence

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How often do you multitask, or divide your attention between more than one task at the same time? I do it often, usually without noticing I'm doing so. Even though I have meditated for years, I still struggle with being present.

I was talking to a friend about this the other day. We spend so much of our lives thinking or doing, while we're doing something else, that we often let life pass us by, not noticing the miracles unfold before us. Because I too often fall into this trap, I've recently begun a daily practice of noticing – noticing the flowers as their buds form and then open, noticing the first signs of Spring, noticing the hummingbirds at my feeder. But it's effortful for me at this point. It doesn't feel natural to simply just be present and allow whatever is going to happen to happen. I'm still so easily distracted by my monkey mind.

So I began to explore why I do this. Why I can't simply be still and allow the unfolding. I came up with several ahas from my reflection process:

  1. I still have too many things on my to do list each day – although I limit myself to a to do list of my three most important tasks, these tasks often have many subtasks that need to get done for the entire task to be completed. But that's cheating. It's not my three most important tasks if it's really 20 tasks that comprise those three. 
  2. I still struggle with not tying my sense of self-worth to my productivity. I think many of us were raised in environments where our worth – our value – was determined by how much we accomplished each day and/or how well we did it. Breaking decades of conditioning is difficult to do. Thus, although I am aware that I still do it, it doesn't always mean I can stop myself in my tracks. 
  3. As much as I enjoy my meditation time, too much silence is still a bit uncomfortable for me. I find myself wanting to fill that silence with something. So I need to learn to get more comfortable with silence and stillness. That will be a challenge for me, but one I am eager to accept.

How do I plan to accomplish all of this? To get more present, more comfortable with be-ing, more comfortable with silence and stillness? I'm going to have to get outside my comfort zone.

  1. Instead of organizing my day around the tasks that I need to get done before I quit working, I'm going to try exploring organizing my day around time. So if I decide I'm going to stop working at 2 PM, I stop working at 2 PM, regardless of what I have or have not gotten done that day. While this will be uncomfortable if I have not accomplished everything on my to do list, I think it will help me re-organize and prioritize what's most important for me. It should also have the side benefit of holding me more accountable to actually focusing during the hours I do allot for work (I am notorious for getting derailed by email…)
  2. I'm going to schedule in “noticing breaks.” I want to be able to go outside and just be. Listen to the birds chirping, notice the wind as it crosses my skin, stop and smell the roses. That being said, I think it will actually be more challenging for me if I take some of these breaks inside – where I'm more likely to get derailed or sidetracked by things that are crying out for my attention – like dirty laundry it needs to be washed or things I need to pick up in the kitchen. Just noticing those things, being a silent and still observer, and not acting on them, will definitely challenge my sense of orderliness. It should be a good exercise for me.
  3. I'm going to practice my active listening skills. So often when we're engaged with someone else – either in person or on the phone – in the back of our minds, we're thinking about something else. But that's truly not fair to us or to them. And it certainly is not being present. Most people can sense when we're not present with them. I'm sure you've had that feeling before – that someone wasn't really listening to you when you were talking to them. Half the time, I'm guessing the other person doesn't even realize consciously that they're doing it. I know I don't. The challenge for me will be stopping when I notice my mind going down a rabbit hole and actually being mindfully present.


Are You Getting the Support You Need?

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I was talking with a friend the other day about Superwoman Syndrome – the idea that as women today, it's not enough to know that we can do whatever we set our minds to. It's almost like we feel like we have to do it all, or we're less than. 

So many of my clients, and I have certainly been guilty of this myself, define their self-worth by the length of their to-do list and the number of items they're able to check off each day. It's as though, at a fundamental level, we feel our worth is somehow tied to our productivity. The problem is, our productivity is usually defined by somebody else's to-do list (that is, items others wish us to do for them). At the end of the day, we may find ourselves feeling “productive,” yet unfulfilled and exhausted.

I found myself reflecting on this conversation for several days. A quotation – I have no idea who originally said it – kept running through my head: “if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.”

I think somewhere along the way, this got translated into something entirely different in our brains: instead of “if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself,” it became more of “you should be able to do everything by yourself. If you can't and you have to ask for help, it means you're weak.”

So we stopped asking for help and we started placing more and more burdens on our own shoulders, somehow expecting that we would be able to do it all and do it all perfectly, with no thought to our own health or sanity.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I agree, and I would take it one step further. It takes a village to run a business. It takes a village to raise a family. It takes a village to be human. We need each other to survive and thrive. 

There is no shame in asking for help, or in allowing yourself to receive it. I give you permission to ask for help. I give you permission to accept it with open arms. You don't have to do this alone. In fact, you weren't meant to.

In today's video, I guide you through a process you can use to decide when and where you might need a little support. You've got this. There are others waiting to help you.


It’s Time to Take Back Your Power

By | Goddess Wisdom, Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

It was 6 o'clock in the morning on a random Friday in November of 2013. A woman I'd met one time and barely knew messaged me on Facebook. She asked me: why aren't you walking in your power?

After the initial shock wore off that a woman I barely knew was messaging me about some really weird thing on Facebook, it dawned on me: she was right. I hadn't been walking in my power because I'd been too busy giving it away.

The problem was that I wasn't really sure what taking back my power or walking in my power even meant. I always learned growing up that power was a bad thing – if you have power, then you have power over somebody else. I didn't want that. That didn’t feel good to me. So I had to figure out – what is this elusive thing called power and why did I need to walk in it?

It’s been quite the 4-year journey since that random message I received on Facebook. But since then I've come to define my power as this:

  • it's my ability to share my truth from my heart,
  • it's my ability to stay true to me and what's best for me regardless of what anybody else thinks,
  • it's listening to the voice of my inner wisdom – my connection to Divine – and honoring it.

So how did I do it? How did I take back my power and learn to walk in it?

  1. I stopped trying to please everybody else, because I realized that was exercise in futility. – This was not easy to do, mind you. I had been the “yes” woman for so long that I had people trained to assume that if they asked me to do something, I would graciously comply. More on how I did that in today’s video.
  2. Rather than turning to everyone else for advice, I started listening to that still small voice inside of me because I realized that I actually do know what’s best for me. – This again was challenging. I had become so disconnected from myself that I could barely hear that still, small voice and I certainly didn’t trust it. But over time, and with practice, I learned to reconnect with my intuition.
  3. Most importantly, I stopped hiding who I am and started sharing from a place of my authentic truth – the real me. Purple-streaked hair and all.

I want to leave you with this thought:

But you don’t need someone else to tell you what to do. You have everything you need inside of you.