Do You Trust Yourself?

Thinking young woman with yes or no choice on grey background.

Do you trust yourself? I didn't – not for the first 40 years of my life. I was always looking for an external source of approval that my ideas were sound, that I'd done the right thing, that I was good enough.

I used my mistakes (translation: opportunities for growth ;)) as proof that I couldn't trust myself. When confronted with a decision, I would do one of two things: 1) make an impulsive decision and then second guess myself, or 2) look back on my life and think “I can't make a decision because when I do I always screw it up.”

Neither of those views were healthy – or helpful.

In the past few years as I've healed my relationship with myself, I have begun to learn how to trust myself and my decisions again. I am going to give you few questions for reflections that will help you learn to trust yourself again. I hope they serve you.

  • žWhat is my true purpose in life? – Now just sit and wait. You might be tempted to write down what you are currently doing or what you think you should be doing. Don’t. Just wait and let whatever is going to come out of you flow.
  • žHow am I fulfilling (or not fulfilling) my true purpose in life? – Again, just let the words flow onto the page.
  • žWhat’s one thing I can do today to move me toward my life’s purpose? – This does not have to be something huge like quitting your job or getting a divorce. We’re talking baby steps here. The key is to do this exercise every day, knowing that each baby step is taking you one step closer to what you were born to do, who you were meant to be. And it may – or may not – be anything like what you thought it was going to be. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself.
  • What is my life vision? In an ideal world, what would a life in alignment with my true purpose look like? Again – just let the words come out of you. Even if they sound far-fetched, even if they sound ridiculous (use your cancel button if you start to doubt yourself). It’s your dream, your life vision here. There is no such thing as far-fetched or ridiculous.
  • žWhat’s one thing I can do today to move me toward that ideal life vision? – You knew this one was coming. Again, we’re talking baby steps here.
  • What can I do right now to show myself how much I love and appreciate myself? – This one usually throws women for a loop, and is the most important question on the list. Let me explain. As women, we are nurturers, givers; yet, we rarely take the time to give to ourselves, to receive love. But here’s the thing: you can’t serve your true calling or live your life’s purpose when you’re running on empty. You can’t take care of your loved ones when you have nothing left to give. This is why flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you put one on your child. You need that oxygen to be able to help your child, just like you need to take care of you so you can take care of everyone else. So, I ask you again: What’s one thing you can do right now (because we both know if I said ‘today’ you’d put it off and it would never happen) to show myself how much I love and appreciate myself? It’s called self-love and self-care. And there is nothing selfish about it.

The key in answering of these questions is to silence the “good girl” voice – the voice that tells you how you should be based on what other people think. Instead, let the answers bubble up from your heart, your inner goddess, your connection with Divine.

Let me what you found out!

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