As I’ve been working my way through healing my chakras and learning to love, honor, and respect myself again, I realized something: instead of being my own best friend, I’ve spent most of my life being my own worst enemy. Plagued with self-doubt and self-criticism, I let go of the important qualities of self-trust and self-forgiveness.
So as I put the finishing touches on my heart chakra painting and began to work on the throat chakra, I realized that for me to love myself and speak my truth, I had to ease up on myself and forgive my past mistakes. So I spent my weekend trudging through some of my worst decisions. Not with the purpose of blaming myself yet again for my perceived failures, but to allow myself forgiveness and begin to rebuild the self-trust I lost long ago.
What I realized is that self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-blame were what lead to those perceived errors in judgment. Had I listened to my inner wisdom at the time I made those decisions, I likely wouldn’t have made them. But at the time, I made a different choice. A choice to please someone else. A choice based on what other people thought or wanted me to do.
Yet, when we make decisions from a place of fear, we will usually be led astray. But when we make decisions from a place of self-love, self-acceptance, and open communication with what our Soul truly desires, we make decisions that honor us.
As I went through past mistakes made my 20-year-old me, 36-year-old me, etc., I used this eye of self-awareness to retell those stories. Rather than blaming myself for not making the ‘right’ decision and following my inner guidance, I forgave myself for not trusting my inner wisdom. After all, I spent most of the last 20 years with blinders on – preventing me from even knowing I had an inner guidance system, yet alone being able to trust it. Fortunately, it’s much easier to forgive yourself when you realize you were doing the best you knew how to do at the time. Even if those decisions were made to please someone else. Even if those decisions were made from a place of fear. Even if in those decisions, you sacrificed yourself. There’s nothing to blame yourself for. You were doing the best you could with what you had at the time.
As my mother likes to say, “All you can do is all you can do.” And that’s true, but I’d like to add something to that: Act from a place of your highest good and you will always make the best decisions for you in that moment. Then let it go. No second guessing. No ruminating. No wondering, “what if…” And if you do make a choice that’s not in line with your highest good, you should be the first person in line to forgive yourself. You’re only human after all.
If you find yourself in a place of self-doubt over an impending decision, answer these questions:
1) Which choice will be for my highest good?
2) If I am drawn to make a different decision, why would I choose something that wasn’t for my highest good?
3) If I make a decision not in line with myself, will I regret it? How will this impact me in the long term?
4) What’s one thing I can do to make it more likely I will trust my inner wisdom in this situation and make the right decision for me?
And if you’re going back and second guessing a decision you already made, ask yourself:
1) Why did I choose to make this decision?
2) What about that decision was good for me? What about it was bad for me?
3) Did I feel pressure from external forces to make a decision that wasn’t in line with my higher good? If so, who was involved and why did I choose to give them my power?
4) The next time I find myself in a similar situation, what should I do?
Then listen to your inner wisdom. She always knows what’s best for you. If you need a little help, call on Sige, Goddess of Silence and Wisdom. She can help steer you in the right direction by teaching you how to go within and listen.
Until next time, trust in yourself. You’re the only one who can.