Examining Your Heart’s Desires: What Do You Really and Truly Want?

A hand of a young woman gives a heart as a Valentine's Day gift before a red background.

I work with both private clients and clients in my group coaching programs on the topic of clearing out blocks so you can manifest your heart’s desires. One of the biggest struggles I see women in my tribe going through isn’t the manifestation itself: it’s figuring out what they want to manifest in the first place and believing they are worthy enough to have it.

When I first start private coaching with a client, I often ask: What do you want in your [insert area of life we are working on: romantic relationships, career, spirituality, creativity, etc.]. The most frequent response? Silence. Followed by an awkward: “I don’t really know, no one has ever asked me that question before.”

Ladies, let’s get something clear: you are allowed to have desires. You are allowed to have what you want in life. If you feel you to need to ask for permission, let me go ahead and give it to you.

I get that this may be a scary thought for you. It took me 40 years to realize I needn’t ask for anyone’s permission to get my needs met. You see, I used to believe that if I longed for something or wanted something to be different in my life I was just being selfish or impractical. It never occurred to me that I might: 1) deserve to have my heart’s desires, and 2) be able to manifest them myself.

If you are struggling with the concept of manifestation, let’s start at the beginning. 

How do you do that? Let’s take your career as an example (but you can modify and apply these questions to any area of your life). Ask yourself:

  • How would I describe this area of my life to someone I just met?
  • What do I like about it?
  • What do I not like about it?
  • What do I wish was different about it?
  • What have I tried to address this issue or problem solve around the things I don’t like?
  • If I could throw it all away and start over tomorrow, what would I keep? Why?
  • What would I toss? Why?
  • What do I most enjoy doing (as it pertains to this aspect of your life)?
  • What do I least enjoy doing?
  • How much time do I spend on the tasks I enjoy?
  • What about the tasks I don’t enjoy? How much do they occupy my day?
  • My dream (no holds barred – dream big) around this area of my life is: _________?
  • So what do I really and truly want here?

Once you have your answers, take some time to reflect. What are your ahas about this area of your life? Is there something you can quickly and easily change to make things better? Are there things you can ultimately change, but may take a little longer and require a game plan? What steps can you take today, tomorrow, and the next day to create the change you desire? It’s time to make a plan because you deserve to have all of your heart’s desires.





  • Virginia Reeves says:

    Mary – good, specific questions. I think why we sometimes don’t have ready answers is because we don’t believe in ourselves enough. Or there is the issue of deserving the best possible. As I age (now 65) I have learned to toss away more of the non-useful mental chatter. I’m proud to say that I have a series of Kindle books regarding this topic of granting permission to ourselves to do, be, and have what we desire.

    • Dr Mary Pritchard says:

      I completely agree, Virginia. Believing you are worth it is so important to manifesting your desires.

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