If you’re like me, growing up you learned that your value/sense of self-worth came from your accomplishments. Did you get straight As? Were you the best on your sport’s team? Did you lend a hand whenever possible? Did you say “Yes!” whenever anyone asked you to do something for them?
Although I love putting my “best foot forward” and I love being of service, I’ve learned in my 40+ years on this planet that when I place my self-worth in the hands of external validation (e.g., getting that promotion, meeting other people’s expectations, checking everything off my to-do list for the day), two things consistently happen: 1) it’s somehow still never enough, and 2) I get drained/ depleted/ exhausted/ and eventually sick.
It wasn’t until I was 40 that I began to realize that this is no way to live my life. I had to learn how to fill my own cup and somehow create my own sense of self-worth, independent of anything I did or did not do.
The trouble was: I had no idea where to start. I had to create my own roadmap, so to speak. It took a while, but as I walked along my path, I realized that, for me, there were 7 key steps to loving myself to fullness:
- Step 1: Stop Comparing Your Body/Intelligence/Success/etc. to Everyone Else – You are not them, you are you. Only YOU know what you need and what it will take to get you there and this step empowers you to stop measuring yourself against someone else’s standards.
- Step 2: Figure Out Who You Are (and Who You Are Not) – And no, don’t ask someone else the answer to this question. This is all about who YOU want to be and who you don’t want to be.
- Step 3: Figure Out What You Need and What You Want – In order to LOVE you and take care of you, you have to be you. That means not only figuring out who you are, but what you NEED and what you WANT out of life, as well as out of each day.
- Step 4: EnVision What You Want – Once you’ve figured out who you are and what you want, and have stopped trying to live someone else’s dream life, you’re ready to tackle the next step: creating your dream.
- Step 5: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin Again – Want to love yourself and live your dream life? Start by loving the YOU that you are now as well as the life you have now.
- Step 6: Heal Your Own Self-love/Self-worth Issues – To truly move on to a place of self-love, you have to heal the things that have kept you from moving forward.
- Step 7: Take Exquisite Care of You – Take responsibility for making sure your needs are met so you can love yourself into fullness every day.
I discuss each of these steps further in today’s video. I hope it serves you.
If you are ready to learn how to fill your own cup and love yourself to fullness, I invite you to join us for The Well-Nourished Goddess: The Art of Sacred Self-Care. 21 experts all talking about how they show up for themselves on a daily basis despite their responsibilities. We would love to see you there. You can join us here: TheWellNourishedGoddess.com.