Last week was another pivotal week in my healing journey. After two and a half months of no progress in healing my heel, my sports medicine doctor sent me to a foot specialist. He put me in a cast. So am I now even more immobile than I was before. Although frustrating, this has lead me to another powerful realization: sometimes you can’t control everything. Sometimes you have to let go.
I was listening to another powerful Inspired Living Secrets lecture last week with Linda Joy and Kim Turcotte. Kim and Linda were talking about this very phenomenon. As Kim put it, you have to ask for what you want and be fairly specific about it, but not so specific that the Universe can’t deliver. And then… you have to let go and let whatever is going to happen happen. Wow. Powerful words. I was blown away.
In last week’s post we were discussing walking in your power and putting on your own oxygen mask first. That was all fine and dandy until yesterday when I start freaking out, thinking “I don’t have time to walk in my power. I have way too much on my to do list that needs to get done right now.” Of course, the reality is that none of it needs to get done right now and half of it probably doesn’t really need to get done in the first place. As a friend of mine put it this weekend, “Thank your brain for getting you to where you are right now and then kindly tell it to shut up.”
Um… yeah. Easier said than done. Ever since she told me to “get out of my head and into my body” my brain hasn’t wanted to turn off. It’s like it’s working overtime to make sure I pay attention to it. But here’s the thing: while my brain is busy churning mindlessly like a hamster on a wheel, my body is tense, tight, and wound up too. So the more my brain tries to keep me preoccupied, the more my body is screaming to be heard. I feel like I’m the referee charged with keeping two boxers apart in the ring. It’s exhausting.
And so I am choosing to say, “Okay Universe, I want to heal, I want to find balance between masculine and feminine, brain and body, knowing and feeling. That’s it. Go do your thing!”
Of course the hard part is now I have to sit back and wait for the Universe to do its thing. And its thing may not be what I think it should be. Kind of like I didn’t think I need to be put in a cast despite the fact that my heel isn’t healing. The Universe is funny that way. It’s going to force me to rest to spite myself. And to spite my brain…
But I chalk it up as another life lesson in the art of letting go. As I write this, it’s November. We have two months left in 2013. So this marks a perfect time not to rush to get things done before 2014 but to just let go of what we feel needs to get done. And while we’re letting go, I’ve decided to let go of the word “need.” It really out to be outlawed because it’s used inappropriately all the time. We very rarely truly need anything. We may want things, but that’s not the same. We need air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink, some type of shelter from the cold. That’s pretty much it. We don’t need a perfect relationship, to make six figures this year, to run away to Hawaii. We may want those things, but we don’t need them.
So for the rest of the year, I am going to do my best to obliterate the word need from my vocabulary. I’m choosing to let it go. When I wake up each morning, instead of asking myself, “What do I need to do today?” I’m replacing that with, “What do I want to do today?” It’s a conscious decision to focus my energy on what I choose to put it on rather than what someone else (or my own myriad to do lists) dictates I should do (another word that ought to be banned: should). By choosing my day, by choosing to let go of the needs and the shoulds, I can consciously create the rest of my 2013. I ought to be able to do that for 2 months, right?
Wish me luck. I’m going to need it. 🙂