It’s Time to Give Yourself Permission


Last week a good friend of mine told me she was shutting down her online business. After seven years of pouring her heart and soul into this online venture, she feels that she's no more successful today than she was the day she started.

I completely understand and I think many of us in this online arena are feeling the crunch right now. Things have changed quite a bit in the past several years. Five years ago, the idea of being an online solopreneur was really just starting to make headway. Today there are so many coaches out there. Our numbers are growing steadily day by day and many of us are doing very similar things. At the end of the day sometimes it may feel like what we are doing as one individual coach doesn't really matter. 

I can't tell you whether an online business adventure is a good idea for you or not. That's not my purpose here. My point is this: whatever decision you're trying to make in life – be it a career change, a relationship, a move across country – it is your decision. No one can make it for you.

There is also no timeline by which you need to make this big decision. I get that there may be deadlines involved, external forces asking you to make a decision by a certain date. But here's the thing: you're ready when you're ready – no sooner, no later.

And trust my advice on this one: when it comes to making a big life decision about whether to shut down your online business, to get engaged, to have a baby, etc.: Give yourself plenty of time to make the decision – no pressure. 

And while you're at it, 

Why? Because life doesn't always happen as planned or in a timely fashion. Because you need to do what's best for you and it's hard to think under pressure. Because sometimes things just take time.

I invite you to give yourself permission not only to take the time to make your decisions, but to live the life you always wanted – Dream Big. 

My boyfriend and I were doing our grocery shopping the other day and he said something to a friend of mine we ran into that really struck me. She asked him if I was taking care of me or if I was working too much as usual. She knew I was just coming off a semester where I was working 50 to 60 hour weeks trying to get it all done and keep it all together. My boyfriend shook his head and replied, “No; she doesn't ask for permission from anybody. She just goes and does it.”

Permission. That's an interesting word, isn't it?

As June is my month of self-care, I decided maybe I did need permission, but I was going to be the one to give it. Not to anyone in particular, but to myself.

I decided to create a permission list for myself. Something I can hang up on the wall and look at every day and remind myself of what I'm doing here. So I'm sharing my permission list with you in the hopes that it inspires you to make one of your own.

I give myself permission to:

  • Be true to me always
  • Listen to, trust and follow my intuition
  • Live whole heartedly
  • Have fun
  • Soar 
  • Be me and do whatever I want to do
  • Spend money in ways that make sense to me
  • Travel 
  • Take time off to rest, recharge and recuperate
  • Fall more deeply in love with my soul's mate
  • Express myself freely and creatively in whatever ways I want to
  • Follow my heart



  • Peggy says:

    I think I know who you’re talking about. The decision to dismantle my website and leave only my blog and podcast was a decision long in the making. I made room to get super quiet and shut out all the noise. On May 20th I recorded a short podcast, “Are You Giving Yourself Permission to Do What You Love?” Four days later, I followed it up with an article with the same title. Dismantling the online business part was all about me giving myself permission to do what I love and trash the rest. Best decision ever. And then I followed that up with “She Said F*ck It and She Lived Happily Ever After.” 🙂

    Do what’s right for you. Do what brings your soul to exquisite ecstasy.

    Much love,

  • Linda Joy says:

    My beautiful friend,
    It makes my heart sing to read that you are (re)committing to self care this month. I’ve done the same. 🙏

    It’s time to rest, renew and go within. You give so much of yourself to your friends, career and passions that it’s time to refill your soul.

    From that place of rest and renewal you’ll hear the whispers of your soul and the path ahead will be clear.

    I’m one of your biggest supporters! No matter which direction or path you take in the future …it’ll be the one right for you!

    Ps I love your permission list❤️

    Off to curl up with a good book!

  • Virginia Reeves says:

    Mary – such an important topic. We deny ourselves too often to do what makes the heart happy. Most of my life (I’m 65 now) I’ve held myself back for one reason/excuse or another. There were spurts now and then but it took until now to really feel comfortable to ‘do it my way’ and not be concerned at all that it wasn’t ‘the smart way’ for marketing. I’m happy because I now have 23 books published in my series, Permission Granted Today. Sometimes you have to step away to see the bigger picture. Ask a friend who understands you for support and encouragement.

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