I was talking with a friend the other day about Superwoman Syndrome – the idea that as women today, it's not enough to know that we can do whatever we set our minds to. It's almost like we feel like we have to do it all, or we're less than.
So many of my clients, and I have certainly been guilty of this myself, define their self-worth by the length of their to-do list and the number of items they're able to check off each day. It's as though, at a fundamental level, we feel our worth is somehow tied to our productivity. The problem is, our productivity is usually defined by somebody else's to-do list (that is, items others wish us to do for them). At the end of the day, we may find ourselves feeling “productive,” yet unfulfilled and exhausted.
I found myself reflecting on this conversation for several days. A quotation – I have no idea who originally said it – kept running through my head: “if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.”
I think somewhere along the way, this got translated into something entirely different in our brains: instead of “if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself,” it became more of “you should be able to do everything by yourself. If you can't and you have to ask for help, it means you're weak.”
So we stopped asking for help and we started placing more and more burdens on our own shoulders, somehow expecting that we would be able to do it all and do it all perfectly, with no thought to our own health or sanity.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I agree, and I would take it one step further. It takes a village to run a business. It takes a village to raise a family. It takes a village to be human. We need each other to survive and thrive.
There is no shame in asking for help, or in allowing yourself to receive it. I give you permission to ask for help. I give you permission to accept it with open arms. You don't have to do this alone. In fact, you weren't meant to.
In today's video, I guide you through a process you can use to decide when and where you might need a little support. You've got this. There are others waiting to help you.