archetypes

Coyotes, Queens, and Lemonade

By | Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

A pair of coyotes trot through tall grass.My German Shepherd Kolby and I saw two coyotes on our walk this morning, followed by two hot air balloons. While these events may seem unrelated, I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason, and thus nothing is truly unrelated.

So when I got home and sat down for my morning meditation, I asked myself, “Why coyote? Why 2s?”

In Native American mythology, especially Cherokee, Coyotes are the tricksters. They love to play and have fun – albeit sometimes at others’ expense. The message coyote brought me was that I need to play more, learn to laugh at myself, take myself and life in general less seriously, and just have fun. Coming off the heels of hosting my first video interview series and getting ready to launch a new website and a new podcast, this makes perfect sense to me. Less work; more play, have more fun. Check.

What about the pairs – of coyotes and of balloons? In numerology, the number 2 is associated with all things feminine: gentle, tactful, diplomatic, forgiving and understanding. And this gets us back to what we’ve been talking about in the past few blog posts – be-ing a Queen.

In my 20s and 30s, I tended to act from a masculine rather than feminine perspective. I think this is fairly common among women in male-dominated careers or ‘corporate America’ types of jobs, of which I consider Academia. When you must be goal-oriented in your career and the pressure is on to do more with less, I think having these masculine traits can be of service. But, if you take those same traits into your everyday life – as I did for two decades – that doesn’t always work out so well…

What do I mean by masculine traits? In my experience, that has meant that individuals in their masculine tend to be very competitive, operating from a sense of lack or ‘not enoughness’ rather than a sense of collaboration or abundance.  Individuals who are more in their masculine seem almost distant from their feelings, as though their feelings can’t be shared or shown for fear of being seen as weak. So they appear to distance themselves from you just when you start reaching for the emotional connection required for most women to feel truly attached to someone.

That may not seem so bad, but it usually doesn’t stop there. Because I always felt like I had to prove my worth – in academia and in life – I tended to approach relationships from a place of fear rather than a place of love. I was vigilant, wanting to make sure I didn’t ‘screw up’ or make someone mad. Or even worse, I worried that they might find out about my ‘not enoughness’ and leave me. And because I was trapped in my own fear of being not enough, I didn’t trust myself, which meant I really couldn’t trust anyone else. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop – not a good place to find yourself in any relationship, but especially not in a romantic one. And after years and years of this be-ing (or do-ing, really) in my masculine, I got bitter and resentful. I wondered why I could never seem to be enough.

Until one day when I realized that I was.

I wasn’t broken, I didn’t need fixing. I was enough, perfect just as I am right here, right now.

And that is the secret every Queen knows: a Queen is gentle, tactful, diplomatic, forgiving and understanding because she believes in herself. She’s seen struggle, she’s known loss, and she made it through. She walked on the lemons life threw her way and not only set up a lemonade stand, but also became more confident in her ability to sell said lemonade and make a profit. She looks in the mirror and knows that her wrinkles tell her story, her lines and scars speak of her journey that is this life, and her tears are shed not only for grief but for joy and happiness, for lessons learned. She loves and accepts every part of herself – her shadow and her light. And she is proud – of her life, of her journey, of herself. She’s sees her own beauty and the beauty in others. She walks beside you, never stepping on you for her own gain. She remembers how to play and makes sure to take exquisite care of herself. She sees coyote and knows her message: Be true to yourself, child, you are not in this life alone. Play, have fun, ask for help when you need it, and most importantly, always be as gentle, forgiving, and understanding with yourself as you are with everyone else.

From one woman who would be Queen of Her Own Life to Another: Namaste.

Now go share your light with the world, and don’t forget to have a little fun!

 

New Moon in Cancer

By | Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

new moon

This continues a series of posts on working with Moon energy. Each New Moon and Full Moon, I will post suggestions for working with that archetype and harness the energy of the Moon's cycle.

New Moon Energy

The new moon is a time of new beginnings, a time when you plant the seeds you wish to harvest over the next month. Yet, do not neglect to let go of what no longer serves before you plant those seeds. It does no good to plant seeds in a barren desert.

  • What do you need to release before moving forward with this new moon cycle?
  • What patterns have you been holding on to that no longer serve?

You may wish to hold a releasing ceremony before setting your intentions for the New Moon. Once you have let go of the old, it’s time to set your intentions for this moon cycle.

  • What do I wish to create over the next month (from New Moon to New Moon)?
  • What do I need to allow my creations to come into light?

 

New Moon in Cancer

Contradiction meet Cancer…Cancer meet contradiction. Just when you think you have a Cancer figured out, they do something that surprises you. It's not that they're indecisive; it's just that they want the best of both worlds. On the plus side, Cancers are loyal, dependable, adaptive and highly intuitive; but they can also appear moody (aka, drama queens) and sensitive (because they are so intuitive).

So what does this mean for working with the New Moon energy? You can add the energy of Cancer to your New Moon reflections by asking yourself the following questions:

  • Where have I been ignoring my intuition? What is happening that I have not wanted to ‘see'?
  • Where have I been indecisive? What's really going on here?
  • What is my intuition telling me to create/focus on right now? How would this improve my life?
  • Where have I been too rigid/stuck? What might happen if I am more willing to go with the flow?

Enjoy working with the New Moon energy in Cancer! It should be a very intuitive time for all of us.

 

Full Moon in Capricorn

By | Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

Moon_Planet

This is the third in a series of posts on working with Moon energy. Each New Moon and Full Moon, I will post suggestions for working with that archetype and harness the energy of the Moon's cycle.

Full Moon Energy

The full moon is the time of a birth, a time when the seeds you planted at the New Moon prior (approximately 2 weeks ago) come to fruition. So if you set goals and intentions at the New Moon, now is a great time to bring them out and evaluate your progress.

  • What do you need to do between now and the next New Moon to birth your intentions?
  • What needs to happen in your life for that to occur?
  • What do you need to finish up?
  • What do you need to let go of?

The Waning Time

The time between the New and Full Moons is considered the waning time. This is not the time to launch new programs, unless you began crafting them at the last New Moon. The waning time is a time where we go within and reflect – time to prepare for the next New Moon and what we want to put into place at that time. This is a perfect time for release ceremonies, getting introspective about your life, and letting go of what no longer works.

Full Moon in Capricorn

Capricorn is an earth sign and those born under this sign tend to be builders and leaders. They are goal-oriented and like having structure and rules, but also recognize when it's time for change. They are the ones born with an ‘old soul' who seem wise beyond their years.

So what does this mean for working with the Full Moon energy? You can add the energy of Capricorn to your Full Moon reflections by asking yourself the following:

  • What structures in my life are working well for me right now? What structures need to be built to improve my life? What structures no longer serve that I need to let go of?
  • How might I tune into the wise part of myself and ask for guidance?
  • Where in my life can I step up and be a leader/mentor? Where should I let go and allow others to lead?
  • What does Earth tell me about what needs to happen in my life right now?

Enjoy working with the Full Moon energy in Capricorn! It should be a profoundly insightful time for all of us.

 

New Moon in Gemini

By | Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

new moon

This continues a series of posts on working with Moon energy. Each New Moon and Full Moon, I will post suggestions for working with that archetype and harness the energy of the Moon's cycle.

New Moon Energy

The new moon is a time of new beginnings, a time when you plant the seeds you wish to harvest over the next month. Yet, do not neglect to let go of what no longer serves before you plant those seeds. It does no good to plant seeds in a barren desert.

  • What do you need to release before moving forward with this new moon cycle?
  • What patterns have you been holding on to that no longer serve?

You may wish to hold a releasing ceremony before setting your intentions for the New Moon. Once you have let go of the old, it's time to set your intentions for this moon cycle.

  • What do I wish to create over the next month (from New Moon to New Moon)?
  • What do I need to allow my creations to come into light?

 

The Waxing Time

The time between the New and Full Moons is considered the waxing time. This is a perfect time to kick start a project you've been putting off, getting your ducks in a row, and get ready for growth. Your focus is sharp, your creativity is in overdrive, and your energy is boundless. Use it!

 

New Moon in Gemini

Aaahh…. the twins. Gemini is an air sign, and while those born under this sign may appear to be indecisive, in reality, they are just able to see all of the possibilities and thus sometimes are unable to narrow their focus to just one option. They are also fiercely independent and desire freedom to explore all of the potential outcomes they can see.

So what does this mean for working with the New Moon energy? You can add the energy of Gemini to your New Moon reflections by asking yourself the following reflective questions:

  • Where have I felt stuck in my life that might benefit from viewing with a new lens?
  • Where do I feel tied down, unable to fully express who I am? How might I alter this situation?
  • What opportunities do I want to explore over the next month? Year?
  • What aspects of myself have I been ignoring or suppressing that could use a little attention?

Enjoy working with the New Moon energy in Gemini! It should be a fun, explorative time for all of us.

 

Full Moon in Sagittarius

By | Walk the Path, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

c038c021-f9cc-45ea-bd3e-1bd07390bdc1

I was recently asked by a reader to explore Moon signs and archetypes. This will be the first of a series of posts on working with Moon energy. Each New Moon and Full Moon, I will post suggestions for working with that archetype and harness the energy of the Moon's cycle.

Full Moon Energy

The full moon is the time of a birth, a time when the seeds you planted at the New Moon prior (approximately 2 weeks ago) come to fruition. So if you set goals and intentions at the New Moon, now is a great time to bring them out and evaluate your progress.

  • What do you need to do between now and the next New Moon to birth your intentions?
  • What needs to happen in your life for that to occur?
  • What do you need to finish up?
  • What do you need to let go of?

 

The Waning Time

The time between the New and Full Moons is considered the waning time. This is not the time to launch new programs, unless you began crafting them at the last New Moon. The waning time is a time where we go within and reflect – time to prepare for the next New Moon and what we want to put into place at that time. This is a perfect time for release ceremonies, getting introspective about your life, and letting go of what no longer works.

 

Full Moon in Sagittarius

Sagittarius is a fire sign and those born under this sign tend to be a little quick-tempered and direct (they tell it like it is with no sugar coating), but on the other hand they are also very lively, fun, adventurous, and flexible go-with-the-flow kind of people (Sagittarians are not planners by nature). They tend to be more rule breakers than rule makers and they love their freedom.

So what does this mean for working with the Full Moon energy? You can add the energy of Sagittarius to your Full Moon reflections by asking yourself the following:

  • How might I need to adapt and change in my life right now? What's not working for me that could use a little boost of fire energy?
  • What am I really searching for in life (think big picture)? What do I really and truly want to attract or give birth to in my life right now?
  •  What have I been missing in my life? What have I been depriving myself of?
  • What do I have too much of? What might be calling for a little moderation right now?

Enjoy working with the Full Moon energy in Sagittarius! It should be a profoundly insightful time for all of us.

 

Mother, Martyr, Bitch?

By | Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | No Comments

BitchIt was a Wednesday night. I planned to take the evening off to relax and rejuvenate after a long week and weekend working. My man promised to make dinner so I could relax and I had a book picked out to read in front of the fire.

I was finishing up my work when I got the text from my man. It was 5:30. He was stuck in traffic and was getting a massage at our house at 6:30.
 
I texted him back, “Do you want me to get something started?”
 
“Yes,” he texted back. I asked what I should start. “Everything.” Alrighty then.
 
30 min later, he walks in. “Do you know how to sew? I ripped my coat.”
 
I quickly finished dinner, and we wolfed it down before his massage therapist arrived.
 
An hour and a half later, I had finished hand-sewing his coat and was finally ready to sit down and relax. Except that I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open.
 
Sighing, I gave up and got ready for bed.
 
By the time my man finished getting his massage, I was sobbing. I resented the fact that I whiled away my evening of rest do-ing. I resented the fact that I had to cook for him when he was supposed to be cooking for me. I resented him for getting a massage while I wasted my rest time mending his coat. Most of all, I was frustrated and angry with myself for yet again failing to keep a promise to myself and failing to take care of my needs.
 
“What's wrong?” He asked.
 
Through my sobbing I relayed my frustrations about spending my restful evening do-ing things for him.
 
“I never asked you to fix my coat,” he said. “I asked if you could sew. I was hoping you would teach me.”
 
I stopped and thought. He hadn't asked me to fix his coat; nor had he asked me to fix dinner, for that matter. Somewhere in my mind, “Can you sew?” had been translated to, “Will you fix my coat while I get a massage?”
 
He followed up this observation with a question, “What happened in your childhood to make you think you always had to do?”
 
It wasn't any one thing; it was everything. It was what was expected, how I was raised. I was taught that life was about being of service to others – at the expense of yourself. At the same time, I learned that people needed to be reminded – regularly – of your great sacrifice and service to them.
 
Mother = martyr.
 
That's how you prove your worth. That's how people know who you are and what value you have to them. It's sad, really.
 
Of course, the thing that really got me was that I have criticized and judged my mother for playing the role of the martyr many a time in my adult life. I even accused her of liking it, which she denied. Yet, there I was, playing out my role of martyr in the ‘mothering' years of my life.
 
Then it occurred to me: I have a choice. I don't have to be a martyr – or a mother, for that matter. Women in my generation have many more opportunities than our mothers did. We can choose to play out a different role, roles that our mothers never dreamed possible.
 
But if I'm not a martyr – if I'm not proving my worth by do-ing then what am I?
 
I learned growing up that I must be of service to others at my own expense. Anything less was selfish. So if I decide to choose differently – to not be of service at my own expense – then what does that make me? According to women who suffer the martyr complex, likely I'd be a selfish bitch.
 
Dictionary.com agrees: a bitch is “a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman.”
 
I disagree.
 
In her book, The Bitch, the Crone, and the Harlot, Susan Schacterle defines a bitch as, “A positive archetype of a Bitch at midlife is that of a woman who has become so comfortable with who she is that she doesn’t hesitate to take appropriate action in any situation. Her actions are no longer so governed by what others think, but rather by what she knows to be true. This is a woman whose intuition is so well-developed that she knows in her gut what to do. Part of her personal mission is to perform actions that are shaped by integrity, insight, and compassion. This woman can make things happen anywhere but, unlike the street-defined bitch, there is no selfishness, no unkindness about her; she takes action and creates results that are the highest and best for everyone involved, within a framework of wisdom and love.”
 
Now that's a definition I can aspire to! Who wouldn't want to be a bitch with that definition? Sign me up!
 
Yet, if you called a woman a ‘bitch', I'm guessing very few would say thank you. The negative connotation of the term is too powerful.
 
So what if we, as women, decided to change that? What if we hung up our Superwoman capes and said ‘no thank you' to the martyr complex? What if we embraced our inner bitch, understanding that meant saying yes to our intuition? Our compassion? Ourselves? What if, for once, we were finally and truly comfortable in our own skin? What if we felt free to speak our truth and walk in our power?
 
I'm willing to aspire to be a bitch. Are you?