I was talking with Peggy Nolan on her podcast, Let Go Move Forward, about letting go of our inner critic. We've talked about all the different ways our inner critic can show up on the blog before, but Peggy had an interesting question:
The answer is both simple and complicated at the same time: We are wired that way.
Bear with me; I'm going to put my academic science geek hat on for a moment. We are actually wired to compare ourselves to other people. It's an important way that we learn things about our world. It's how we learn to walk and talk relatively quickly as a child. We watch others and mimic their behavior (our brains actually contain special neurons called mirror neurons that serve this purpose).
The problem is that as we get older, our need to mimic other people’s behaviors so that we can learn new skills dissipates. But our mirror neurons don’t necessarily know that. They want a job to do and it’s their job to compare us to and mimic other people. For many of us, this gets warped and twisted into the version of the Inner Critic I call Comparison Queen Carla: enter not enoughness issues. Suddenly instead of using our natural social comparison tendencies as a way to learn and grow, we start using these innate reactions as a way to judge, criticize, and belittle ourselves.
This actually starts fairly early in life, usually between ages 3 and 5, as that is when we begin to label and judge ourselves and other people. It’s also when our not enoughness issues typically begin. The older we get, the worse this tendency can become if you don’t take active measures to combat it.
It’s time to go back to your roots and heal these deep seated not enoughness issues. If this idea appeals to you, I invite you to join our Sacred Circle. We are spending the next two months healing our not enoughness issues by going back to our roots and healing our chakras one at a time. By doing so, you'll learn to ground and center, uncover your passions, walk in your power, love yourself more, speak your truth, reconnect with your intuition, and see yourself as the embodiment of the Divine Feminine that you are. All of this for less than the price of a cup of coffee a day. Join us!
My interview with Peggy Nolan: