inner voice of wisdom Archives - Dr. Mary Pritchard

What to Do When Your Comparison Queen is a Self-Comparison Queen

By | Body Love, Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | 4 Comments

We’ve been talking about our Inner Mean Girls for weeks and today’s reader question stems from our discussion of how our Inner Mean Girl shows up. One of the most common ways my clients (this includes me) see the Inner Mean Girl show up is in reference to playing the comparison game. I call her Comparison Queen Carla.

Comparison Queen Carla takes keeping up with the Jones’ literally. She compares herself – her looks, her possessions, her personality – to everyone else and when she feels she’s lacking, she dives head first into the next diet plan, buys the new car, decides to read 50 Shades of Grey and see the movie because everyone else is, etc.

Five years ago, this description fit me to a T. I was a Comparison Queen Carla. I was compared myself to any woman who crossed my path – in real life and in the media. I was constantly measuring myself with my invisible yardstick up against other women. And I usually came up lacking.

Why? Because I didn’t love myself. I lacked confidence in myself – I felt I wasn’t good enough as I was so I constantly strove to be better than everyone else. It wasn’t until I gained that self-love and self-confidence that I was able to get a handle on my Comparison Queen.

Or was I…?

Heather posed an interesting question: What if the person you are always comparing yourself to is yourself?

As a former distance runner (that's me running up a sand dune), I get this too. As an athlete, I was always trying to go further, faster, better. That was helpful, up to a point. Yes, I ran farther, faster. However, I also injured myself more often and ended up having to end my distance running after my second heel fracture. My inner motivator was really my inner critic in disguise…

So how do you tell? In today’s video, I walk you through the ins and outs of using the inner voice as a tool to motivate you to new heights v. a tool to self-deprecate, punish yourself, and make you feel bad about yourself.

It basically boils down to this: how does it make you feel? If you feel excited and expansive, then go for it. But if you feel icky, bad about yourself, restricted or contracted, then your Inner Mean Girl is running the show again…

Want to learn more about how to differentiate between the Inner Mean Girl and the Inner Motivator? I invite you to join me for my free call series. You can sign up here: http://DrMaryPritchard.com/body

7 Steps to Reconnect with Your Intuition

By | Goddess Wisdom, Wisdom Blog | 2 Comments

inner voice of wisdom

You know the one. The one that calls us on our issues, whispers our true desires in our ears, and criticizes everything we do. Wait what?

That's the exact conversation I had with a client the other day. She thought that voice that constantly belittles and criticizes her was her intuition. Let me tell you: it's not. I know because I used to think this way too.

Up until a few years ago, I had lost touch with my inner voice of wisdom. My inner critic, on the other hand, was alive and well… She came out to “play” all the time. Every decision I made was the wrong one; if something – anything – went wrong it was my fault; every thought I had was self-critical. Then one day I had an experience that changed my life. In a guided meditation, I was able to connect with my real inner voice of wisdom – not the critical one, but that one that knows me and what's best for me. And I never turned back.

So how did I do this? I'd love to tell you it was easy; it wasn't – not always – because my inner critic had a firm hold on me by this point in my life. I'd love to tell you that my inner critic never rears her ugly head – she still does sometimes. Not often, but occasionally. What I want to share with you today is my journey – the steps I took to activate my inner goddess and reconnect with my intuition.

  • Step 1: Be v. Do – the first thing I had to do when learning to reconnect with my intuition was to slow down long enough to hear her words; she whispered so softly at first that I could barely hear her. I had to be actively listening and quiet my mind for her to be able to get through.
  • Step 2: Put on Your Oxygen Mask – you know how when you travel on an airplane, the flight attendants give the safety spiel before you take off? Part of that talk says something like, “in the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop down from the ceiling. Please secure your own mask before helping those around you.” That's what you must do to reconnect with your intuition – you have to put on your oxygen mask and take care of you. Why? 1) No one else will, and 2) if you don't have any oxygen (i.e., food, self-care, sleep, time for you), you won't be able to be of service to others.
  • Step 3: Walk in Your Power – you have to actually practice this. You can talk about wishing you could activate your inner goddess and reconnect with your intuition until you're blue in the face, but if you don't actually take the steps, nothing will change. Yes: you have to do more than just talk the talk, you've got to walk the walk.
  • Step 4: Learn to Let Go – When you first start to reconnect it may seem like life is happening in such a way that you can no longer control it. Want to know a little secret? You never could. We can't control other people; we can't control what happens for us; all we can control is how we react. I learned a valuable lesson a few years ago: sometimes you have to let go. Let what is going to happen happen and trust that everything will work out just as it should. Because it will.
  • Step 5: Learn to Trust Yourself Again – When your inner critic has been running the show for decades, it's easy to not trust that little voice of wisdom when it first crops up. After all, your inner critic is probably right there with you criticizing your intuition. So you have to begin to trust that little voice. How? This goes back to the conversation I had with my client the other day. How do you know if it's your intuition rather than your inner critic? 1) if it's mean or makes you feel icky, it's your inner critic; 2) if it makes you feel contracted, and like you want to curl up in a ball, it's your inner critic. Your intuition should feel good – free, expansive.
  • Step 6: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone – this is the scary part. Comfort zones are familiar; even if you're not happy, you know what to expect. But to truly activate your inner goddess and reconnect with your intuition, you must start to do things differently. I mean if what you'd been doing all this time was working for you, you wouldn't be ready this blog post, would you? So what I want you to do is dream a little. What do you want your life to look like? What's one step you can take today to make that happen?
  • Step 7:  Find Your Voice – as you start to dream, you may realize that to achieve your goals, you may need to (gasp!) change some things in your life. This may include getting out of some of your current obligations and learning to say no. I know, I know; easier said than done. But this is one of those things where practice really does make perfect. Write out how you want this conversation to go; rehearse it in your head. Then go have said conversation. It may not go perfectly, but I can guarantee it will go better than it would have if you hadn't tried.

 

If you'd like more information on these steps, I hope you’ll check out my ecourse: Reconnecting with Your Intuition. to learn more about activating your inner goddess and reconnecting with that inner voice of wisdom – the real one, not your inner critic.