As I sit in my backyard enjoying the sunshine and 70 degree weather, I realize that Fall is here. I harvested most of my garden this past weekend as the colder nighttime temps were beginning to have a negative effect on my veggies. Today I find myself in a reflective mood, as though it is time for me to harvest my emotions in preparation for the coming Winter.
So I’ve decided to take stock of my life. My 2014.
I vowed in late January that 2014 was going to be the Year of Me. I did a good job keeping my vow for the first 6 months. Then I met Rio and found myself falling back on old patterns of putting my man before me. Taking care of his needs before mine.
And I’ve paid the price. I met with my hormone doctor last week. He confirmed that I was in early perimenopause, but said that it was my own doing. When you burn the candle at both ends for too long, your hormones shut down. He gave me a month to get my butt in gear; three months to get my menstrual cycles back to normal.
That was a wake-up call for me. I know how powerful stress can be and what it can do to your body if you let it. But, once again, I failed to take my own advice. I promised myself I would take care of me when “things settled down;” of course, they never did. The past few months have been a whirlwind of personal crises. And I did what I do best in the midst of crisis: hunker down and get it done.
What I didn’t get “done” was taking care of me.
I decided to treat my self-induced perimenopause like an illness. If I had a condition, like mono or the flu, what would I be doing (or what wouldn’t I be doing)?
- I stopped lifting weights and stopped running – no use wasting what little energy I have right now on exercise. This is temporary – a two-week moratorium. I am still taking my daily walks with the canine kiddos, but those aren’t exactly heart rate elevating.
- I started meditating again – 10 min at night last week. I am upping it to 15 minutes at night and 5-10 min in the morning this week.
- I restarted my daily check-ins – I am asking myself where I am physically and emotionally when I wake up each morning and then checking in with what I need to fill up those energy tanks throughout the day. For example, I got home this morning a little after 10am from an appointment and my intuition told me to take a bath and do some journaling, so I did.
- I’m diving deep – Fall is the perfect time for reflection, for going within. I’ve been spending some time each day journaling about everything that’s happened thus far in 2014 – where I am compared to where I want to be. This is hard for me to do as it involves dealing with some painful things head on, but by not dealing with them, I am only prolonging my suffering. So I might as well get it out of the way now so I can truly prepare for a restful and fun Winter.
- I’m calling on Kali, Goddess of Empowerment, to help me through this process – I typically draw one of Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Oracle cards each morning and I drew Kali this morning. I thought She was an appropriate Goddess to be calling on right now. Kali is the Goddess of Interpersonal Strength, Self-Awareness, and Inner Knowing. She encourages us to let go of what no longer serves so that we can begin again.
What are you doing to prepare for Fall and Winter? What do you still need to process and perhaps let go of between now and the start of the New Year?