The Pleasure Principle: Self-Care for the Everyday Goddess

self-careI have a question for you. Do you allow yourself to relax, have fun, experience pleasure on a daily basis? I hope the answer is yes, but for far too many women, myself included until I was 40, the answer is a resounding no.

I was talking to a client of mine the other day about this. I asked her what she did for fun. She
replied, “Nothing. If I try to relax or take time off, I feel like I am being lazy. There’s stuff I should
be getting done.” That, my friends, is a second chakra issue. We were never meant to be all
work and no play! We were never meant to work ourselves into the grave; and yet, we do.

I like to call this Superwoman Syndrome.

So we give and give until there is nothing left – not for us, not for our loved ones. And then, if you’re like me, you get really sick and are forced to take a break.

In 2000, I nearly died of pneumonia. I was in my first year as a faculty member, trying to prove my worth by working 12-13 hour days. My marriage was suffering because of this, so my solution was to keep pushing myself in a failed attempt to please everyone. And then one day, I got the stomach flu. Or so I thought… For 4 days, I grew increasingly weaker unable to keep anything more than water down. And then I started having trouble with basic functions: breathing, walking, controlling my bladder. My then-husband took me to the doctor. I was given a choice: ambulance or no ambulance. Either way I was headed to the Emergency Room.

7 days later, I was discharged with an at home oxygen treatment machine that I would use daily for a month’s time. My doctor later told me that had my husband not brought me in that day, I would have been dead in 4 hours. All of those symptoms I was having? Trouble breathing, walking, controlling my bladder? Those were signs of organ failure. All from a little case of pneumonia…

I can go back and do the coulda, shoulda, woulda thing and blame myself for not taking better care of myself, but the truth is: I didn’t get it. Not then. You’d think a near death experience would have snapped me out of my overgiving/overdoing ways. Nope. It would take another decade before I got it.

At all. I had stopped putting myself on my to-do list in favor of taking care of everything and everyone else. And it nearly cost me my life.

I tell you this not to scare you, not so you might feel sorry for me. I certainly don’t. But for you to understand my truth: I am here today – healthy and happy – because I learned that I had to take care of myself. More than that, I learned that I was important enough to deserve self-care. And I’m not talking about an occasional indulgence or splurge. I am talking about a daily decision to put myself and my needs first.

I know it sounds scary; it might even sound selfish. It’s not. It’s taking care of you so that you can be of more service to others. How do you think my then-husband would have felt had I died that day? Do you think that would have made him happy? No. He wanted me to live and he wanted me to make choices that supported my health and happiness so that we could have had another chance to get it right.

I’m not asking for you to drop everything and change your life. I’m asking for 5 minutes, 10 at the most. I’m asking you to do something today that makes you joy-full. Because you need it. Because you deserve it. Because you, yes you, are so worth it.

To learn more about healing your second (sacral) chakra and taking time for you, watch today’s featured video.

For more on healing your chakras, check out my Activate Your Inner Goddess: Reconnect with Your Intuition ecourse.

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