The Warrior Queen

The Goddess

“To my sweet wild woman, I know why it hasn’t worked out with anyone else — you don’t need a man, but a goddamn warrior. ~ Kate Rose”

Last week I read an article on Elephant Journal that got me thinking. On the one hand, I agreed completely with everything Kate Rose said in her piece. Yes, I want a man who sees me for who I am – my strengths, my weakness, my pain, my struggles, my fierceness. Yes, I will only accept a man in my life who matches my fire with his own.

“You can’t be anything other than what you are—and that’s okay. You are just as you are supposed to be, magnificently wild in all of your chaotic beauty.” ~ Kate Rose

Yes, I want a man who honors my wildness, accepts and appreciates me and doesn’t try to “tame” me (nor I him). Yes, I hold out hope that he is out there and is on his way to me.

Yet, Kate Rose made a very valid point that I think got lost in the midst of the what-I-need-in-a-man laundry list: “It takes a goddess to show a warrior what real love is.”

And that’s my point.

I can’t expect to do what I’ve always done and get different results. It doesn’t work that way.

I know I’ve made mistakes in past relationships and I completely own them: I’ve competed with men, berated them, emasculated them, suppressed them, and tried to change them. Is it any wonder I’ve gotten back what I put out?

I know that this warrior of mine is out there, but I also know I must be ready for him. I must be that fierce, strong, wild woman he is looking for. One who stands in her power instead of kowtowing to his. One who speaks her truth instead of saying what she thinks he wants to hear. One who owns her own wildness instead of trying to hide it behind a façade of professor/wife/mother/entrepreneur/good girl. A queen, sovereign in her own right, who rules with kindness, honesty and integrity instead of criticism and judgement – of herself and her man.

To allow this Warrior King into your life? Are you ready to be the woman you’ve always wanted to be and let him be the man he truly is? Are you ready to let your fierceness show? Your cunning? Your creativity? Are you ready to come out of hiding? To let the world know that you have arrived – perfectly imperfect just as you are? Are you ready to talk the talk and walk the walk? To take your own advice? Are you ready to proclaim to all who will listen: I am a Goddess and Warrior Queen!

I am.

I hope you’ll join me.


  • Peggy says:

    Hi Mary,

    I know we’ve talked about this before. And the truth is I glossed over the article in EJ because my man isn’t afraid to be a man and own his own stuff and he’s not afraid to let me be me (and if he were, we wouldn’t be married). We both went through our respective fires of hell, (more of that particular story comes out in our book, Cultivating Joy, so I won’t spill the beans here) and came out as 2 whole people. When we reconnected, lightening struck. After 9 years of marriage, we are still 2 whole people. He does not need to be a warrior with me – nor I a goddess with him. I know where he ends and I begin as does he. Together we have created a relationship that cultivates and grows each of us. We love and respect each other. We lift and build each other up. We cheer each other on and find comfort in each other when life throws a curve ball. I know this sounds really trivial but I married a man that I can call and tell him that I just ran a 9:23 mile and he knows exactly what that means. He knows I just surpassed my personal best and he’s fist bumping and high fiving with me over the phone. My ex husband? Excuse me while I laugh hysterically. NEVER. He would have found fault with that in some way.

    Anyway, along the way to wholeness I discovered that the only way a man was going to love all of me was if and only if I loved all of me, too.


    • Gena says:

      Perfect!!! A wonderful relationship clearly requires self love first. How else can we expect the best for ourselves if we aren’t even giving that to ourselves? I wonder why that is such a hard concept to grasp?

  • Dr Mary Pritchard says:

    Love it, Peggy! I think think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “along the way to wholeness I discovered that the only way a man was going to love all of me was if and only if I loved all of me, too.” That’s my point, exactly. And, no it’s not trivial that you want your partner to be excited when you accomplish things – big and small. I want that too! 😉

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