What Do You Really and Truly Want? (Reflection Questions Inside)

I posted a question on a survey to my tribe recently that asked “What do you really and truly want?” A surprising number of women wrote back, “I wish I only knew…”

As I write this, we are in between two eclipses – a powerful lunar eclipse on August 7 and a powerful upcoming solar eclipse on August 21. I can't tell you the number of women who have shared their feelings of being unsettled, unnerved, feeling lost or stuck and not knowing what to do over the past few weeks. It seems as though we are having a collective crisis of faith – in our country, in our world, and in ourselves. That can be a very scary feeling. I know because I've been feeling it too. Even if you're not into astrology and have no idea what phase the moon is in or which planets are in retrograde, I know that some of this collective crisis of faith/ sense of struggle does have to do with the energies of the eclipses – I think we're all feeling it, even if were not consciously aware that these things are happening in our world right now. We are energy: thus, energy affects us, and eclipses, in particular, tend to highlight for us things that might have been in shadow before now.

Of course, the real question is: how do we navigate through this time of uncertainty? I have two things for you today: 1) a set of reflection questions to help you gain clarity on whatever you are struggling with, and 2) a video on how to move your energy level/vibration when you're having one of these feelings. I hope it serves you.

Reflection Questions:

1) What are you rebelling against or resisting? In other words, what's really irking you right now? Why? Dive deep here and keep writing until you can't write anymore on this one. The deeper you dive, the more clarity you will receive. So don't sell yourself short.

2) What is your big vision? What do you here to do? It's okay if you don't know (some of these feelings of being stuck or lost that my clients have been coming to me for over the past few weeks involve these very questions) – don't beat yourself up about it. Just pose the question and allow Universe to show you the answer in the coming weeks. Breathe and be open to receive.

3) If you do know your big vision, what have you been doing about it? Again, this is not an opportunity to beat yourself up if the answer is nothing. It's an opportunity for you to reevaluate and perhaps, in the moments in between, give yourself time to vision a little more or work on making it a reality. It's also an opportunity for you to ask the question: where I've been holding myself back or self-sabotaging? Again, there's no blame or shame here. It's more of a process of inquiry.

4) How have you been taking care of you lately? It's very difficult for us to gain clarity on anything if we are not taking care of ourselves. Again, use a lot of self-compassion for this one. If you feel like you haven't been putting you first or taking good care of you, now is the time to reevaluate how you can make yourself a priority in your own life. (If you're not sure where to start, and you haven't checked out my new free gift The Well-Nourished Goddess Starter Kit, you can claim yours here.)

5) What's your energy level or your vibration right now? Are you feeling good and positive about things – even in the areas in which you are struggling? Are you feeling negative and a sense of despair or gloom? In today's video, I talk about what to do if the answer is closer to the latter than the former. The bottom line is this: it's difficult for the Universe to give us what we want if we don't think it's possible.

6) If you're feeling like, “Well this is great Dr. Mary, but I don't have time to work on any of it,” then answer this question: What are you saying yes to that you really want to be saying no to? How can you set better boundaries around this particular issue to free up a little more time for you to work on what actually is important to you? (See last week’s blog if you need help.)

In sum, if you're struggling right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of us are feeling the same basic sense of uncertainty or feeling unsettled. And that's okay. Not everything is going to be solved today. Rather, I invite you to feel into these feelings with a sense of inquiry and use what you find there as motivation to take forward action that is in alignment with where your Soul is calling to you. It's time to step up and do the work so you can move forward in positive ways in your life.



  • Debbie Tate says:

    Thank you so much Mary for the above information, I have been truly lost and unsettled since my mother passed recently, I spent all of my spare time outside of work caring for her and now I find myself without a home and limited funds so feeeling a lot of fear around this. Hopefully the process you have set out will help.

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