What Would It Take for You to Be Queen of Your Own Life?

queen2After pondering my Queen’s Code last week, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Jaki Sabourin for an upcoming telesummit. On the call she asked me,

That’s a good question.

I think the answer may differ slightly for every woman, but I think there are a few key traits/qualities that will surface for most women. Things like: accepting and loving yourself for who you are, not settling for less than you deserve, and asking for what you want and then being open to receive it.

I think it serves us to get crystal clear on our answer to both “What is a Queen?” and “How do I become one?”  I suggested four questions that might serve you in last week’s ezine. I elaborate on them here and give you my answers as well as my “bare minimums.”

Questions to Ask Yourself:

  • Who do I want to be? (Notice that I phrased all of this in the present): For me the answer is a fun, free, dedicated, mindful, happy, sexy, sensual, sovereign, self-sufficient Goddess Warrior Queen who knows and asks for what she wants. I am fair and honest, take exquisite care of myself, am a good listener, as well as a good speaker. I am a woman who gets her needs met, power-full, yet also a woman who gives freely of herself (to those who deserve my gifts). I am collaborative rather than competitive. I set boundaries in my life so I can give more of myself and live full up. I am a good partner to my King. I am intuitive and trust my intuition. I am joy-full. I accept and love myself completely. I live a balanced life. I am confident, BodyLoving, and ask for help when I need it.
  • What do I need to be that woman? I need to eat well and make sure I stay well-nourished, get adequate sleep, and rest and “me” time. I also need to move my body every day, be it hiking, yoga, weight lifting, running, or belly dance. I meditate to keep me calm and centered. I need to feel supported, safe, protected, valued, and cherished.
  • When do I feel this way naturally? I feel good and am more in my Queenhood when my needs are met.
  • When can’t I be who I want to be? When I haven’t gotten enough sleep or enough to eat.

So it all boils down to getting my needs met. I decided to make a list of my “bare minimums;” things I know I need on a regular basis that help me be the woman I want to be.

For me these are:

  • Eating nourishing meals 5-6 times per day
  • 8-9 hours of sleep each night
  • Daily outdoor time
  • Daily yoga
  • Meditate twice daily
  • One hour of down time each evening before bed
  • Go to the gym 4-5 times per week
  • Belly dance 4-5 times per week
  • Do whatever it takes to feel supported, safe, valued, protected and cherished
  • Unplug by 6pm each night
  • Daily connection with my girlfriends

One Comment

  • Virginia says:

    “I am a woman who gets her needs met, power-full, yet also a woman who gives freely of herself (to those who deserve my gifts).”
    This is an important sentence because if we aren’t getting what we need, it’s that much harder to give.
    I also like that you added on “those who deserve my gifts”. I don’t believe everyone is in a place where they will appreciate what we share and we
    have to acknowledge that and not take it personally. We also are not responsible for ‘helping’ everyone.
    Thanks for sharing this Mary.

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