The Woman in the Mirror

mirror-dream-954919-mHave you ever looked in the mirror and faced a moment where you were unsure of what you were doing with your life? Last week, I talked about recent events that left me doubting my path, but it’s more than that. Doubting my path is only a metaphor for doubting me. And self-doubt stems from a lack of self-love, self-trust, and self-acceptance.

I had tea with a friend on Saturday, who is also a spiritual teacher. She’s fabulous at calling me on my issues. You can’t get anything past her, and for that I am grateful. She made me realize that despite the fact that I performed a release ceremony on New Year’s Eve and have done two more since then, I haven’t released anything. Because I’m afraid to. Because I don’t know what I will have left if I release my old patterns. Though they may not be healthy, they’ve served me in the past. And I have enough self-doubt in me to wonder what will happen if I ever truly released those old patterns that no longer serve.

Yes, I went through the motions. Yes, I wrote what I was going to release down and burned it – three times now! Yes, I took the cleansing bath and said the words to attract Love into my life. But the reality is: had I truly released what needed to be released, I wouldn’t still need to release anything after three separate release ceremonies. But I do.

Here’s the thing: as a psychologist, I know that we will not give up our old ineffective coping methods until we have something to replace them. So when we ‘release’ anything, to the extent that we were still getting something out of that thing and have done nothing to replace whatever we were getting out of it, we won’t be truly able to let go. And that’s where I find myself: stuck in old patterns of wanting to let go, wanting to release, but unconsciously not being able to because the old patterns are still – in their warped way – serving me.

It’s time for a change. It’s time to face the woman in the mirror. Instead of release, maybe the question should be: What do you really and truly want to attract into your life right now?

So do this with me. Go stand in front of your bathroom mirror, look deeply into your eyes in the mirror, and say the following words (yes, it will probably be awkward, but trust me on this, it’s powerful):

Hello beautiful!

I know I haven’t been treating you as well as I should.

I know I haven’t been listening to you.

I’ve been ignoring your wants and needs.

I’ve been ignoring YOU.

But I vow to you today that is going to change.

From this moment forward, I promise you I will put you first.

I will take care of you.

Be there for you.

Be the best friend you ever had.

I will show you such Love, Honor, and Respect you’ll be astounded.

Because you matter, you truly do.

In fact, nothing matters more than you and your happiness.

You deserve it, Beautiful.

You deserve to have your wants and needs met.

And I’m going to make sure it happens.

So what do you want right now, in this moment?

What can I do to show you how much I love you?

Listen and wait for an answer to bubble up.

I promise I will get you _______ [whatever the answer was] _______ [give a time frame – preferably right now; if not, then ASAP!]

You’re worth it.

I love you.


Feel free to stand there and bask in your self-love as long as you need to. I recommend you repeat this mirror ceremony at least once a day – more if you need to – until it becomes second nature. Until you don’t keep having to have this conversation with yourself. Until you find yourself journaling spontaneously every day about all of the things you did that day to show love to yourself.

Give yourself the love you need, sit back, and watch the Universe double it.

Until next time.

I Love You!




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